How many people are on Tinder? A fuckload


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Is that a metric fuckload, or an imperial fuckload?

An imperial fuckload is 5 tuns (or 20 hogheads) of fuck.

A metric fuckload is 1000 fucks.


Nobody, NOBODY, on tinder cares about these sort of distinctions.


Apparently there are a lot of Lotharios on Tindr who are REALLY bad at the whole first impression thing…


Honestly, most people should just use the either the Imperial Arseload or Metric Fucktonne, which are much less confusing to those who have not comprehensively studied international fuckery, as you clearly have.


That is not to say, however, that there isn’t ample evidence that we are a society with our fair share of degenerates:

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and there all white

Indeed, in real life we routinely use superficial characteristics to form lasting impressions. In that sense, Tinder really is onto something. However, I see no reason to mistake this for complexity. Tinder works well because it’s fast, not because people are good at judging appearance.

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Somehow your Archer avatar + “creepy” craps me up every time I see it.

Confession time: I just downloaded Tinder because of the story (well, not specifically because of, but as the last straw of a pile of vague curiosity due to other stories). Not because I expect to make a hookup or a relationship or anything, I was just curious about how exactly it works… descriptions can only say so much.

I REALLY don’t care for it. I’m not saying it’s a plague on society or anything, I just mean that for me, it hits all sorts of negative buttons. Firstly, because it requires rejection… not of me (I’m sure many people will be rejecting me, but at least I don’t have to see it), but from me. Unless I want to just accept everyone (and if I’m going to do that, why not just start a “I’ll talk to anyone who will have me” app, or something like omegle), you have to reject people to move on (do they ever show up again? Or are you essentially saying no to somebody forever, even if you do it accidentally?), often on very little information… sometimes a little bit of a profile (I couldn’t figure out how to set one, but maybe I just wasn’t looking hard enough), mostly just age, distance from you, and a picture. And every time I reject someone, I feel, “am I being too shallow? I mean what right do I have to be, I’m no catch”, and I don’t like that feeling, especially because a lot of times I acknowledge that there’s nothing wrong with them in terms of attractiveness, I’d probably be happy enough to date them, there’s just nothing that particularly draws me to make the next step and click like and potentially set up a match.

Because, even when I consider accepting somebody, the same old insecurities that plague my normal social life (or lack thereof) come up. “What would I even say if we got matched up? I’m horrible at first impressions, and that’s pretty much all there is to go on!” and I strongly suspect that even if I click yes and they click yes, it’d go nowhere, I’d probably just find an excuse to apologize and say that I’m just experimenting with the service and not really interested in either a hookup or pursuing a relationship or probably ever meeting in person, and we probably don’t have much in common to just talk, so what else is there to the service, with so little info to go on?

I did do a couple of accepts (some accidentally), but I doubt I’ll be one of those people who spend many minutes a day using it, or probably even get back to it. For people with trouble with “first contact”, it might actually be more daunting than just living a normal life and trusting to chance/normal casual acquaintances developing into something more (not that I have much luck with that, either, but at least I don’t feel impossibly awkward).


How did you get famous Seattle restauranteur Tom Douglas to do all those high fives? He’s such a busy guy!

One thing I noticed was missing from the article was that Tinder is a fully-owned property of IAC, the 800lb gorilla of the dating space. They own and recently bought as well.

They like to pretend they’re some plucky startup but they were created in an IAC incubator and has never been an independent entity. So when the conversation is about how they’re destorying and their algorithm, all that’s actually happening is a shifting of money from one side of a company to another.


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