Indeed. I’ve said this three times, but it’s clear I am doing a poor job communicating in this thread.
To avoid doing further harm, I’ll shut up now.
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… and sometimes you can’t reason with unreasonable entitled people tied up in their reality bubble of “self”-evident truthiness.
Back on topic… is Karen even a member of the complex? From the way she was able to enter the pool area… maybe, maybe not. I know a lot of complexes don’t secure their front doors (didn’t need to).
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“Show me someone who’s opening move is a right hook, and I’ll show you someone who refuses to listen to what anyone has to say.”
Harsh.
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I too am a fan of NVC, (and have taken classes in it even!) , but I’m admittedly a white guy who finds himself in a position where I’m not the facilitator needed for the problem. Look at the black lives matter situations. A person in privilege like me as a white man absolutely could facilitate communication, but I’m not the right person to do this. It doesn’t matter how good I am at it, or anything like that, it’s more about me (EDIT: , I said “accidentally”, but more accurately should omit that word) being involved in it simply by being white and having biases inherent.
My point is, as good as NVC is as a book, and a methodology, it doesn’t work in situations where people sincerely don’t want to come to a level of understanding OR in situations where the people facilitating it are impediments themselves. I bring this up because Karens are , mostly, narcissists. You can see it in their behaviours. So while digging deep into their past hurts and all that might get you more information on how you can communicate with them when they’re at their “explosive youtube making moments” and that may get you further, but the primary thing here is that you’re dealing with people who’ve not been told no recently, and who are doing these things BECAUSE THEY WORK.
Personally, I sincerely wish all beings to be free of suffering, it’s kind of the Buddhist path and I want other people to wish that for me. But some people are intent on still suffering anyway, and there’s not much that can be done for people who don’t want to help themselves. So, my reaction? Pity, and trying to stay out of their way. At some point their actions will catch up to them and I don’t want to be anywhere near when it happens.
You phrased it much better than I!
I started from the perspective of “How do I deal with Karens (I have an understanding that they are what they are, and don’t expect them to be different).” That morphed into, “How can one have an affect on those around you?” without clarifying (until later) that I was referring to those you can’t avoid, such as relatives and coworkers. This shift created confusion, which I regret.
I completely agree with you on those with privilege would be well-suited to provide support in collaboration with the oppressed, not as a white-knight (pun-intended) racing in to save the day. This means not butting in, and active listening to understand how you can actually support others.
Glad to see a fellow practitioner. And again, thank you for providing your more eloquent summary.
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