How to cut an avocado without hurting yourself

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Has it really come to this? We need tutorials on how to open an avocado?


Looking at the electoral college map and seeing Trump as POTUS…yes. yes we do.


Best to avoid them altogether. I’ve got it on good authority that avocados are the main reason millennials can’t afford to buy homes.


OH I got this,

Step 1) Take avacado in hand.

Step 2) Throw in trash.

Congratulate yourself on a job well done.

Avocados should be extinct. They are an abomination that only exist still because of man’s unholy meddling.


That was a tutorial from someone who probably is just copying what he saw in someone else’s tutorial. Every step was more dangerous from a knife-cut point of view than it needed to be.

  • Start at the top rather than along the side to cut it in half;

  • Cut the side with the pit in half again (so, 2 quarters of the original avocado)…at that point, it’s easy to pull off the pit without using a knife;

  • You don’t need to cut the insides at all if you’re going to eat it out of the skin with a spoon;

  • Peeling the skin off with your fingers is easy once the avocado is in quarters. Then you can do anything you want with the meat: smash, slice, or dice it.


You cut your grandma with that knife?

Serrations are for bread only.


Pretty sure the part where he CHOPS DOWN ON THE PIT WITH A SHARP KNIFE WHILE HOLDING THE DAMN THING might be where people are getting hurt. Just use a fork or spoon and dig it out, who cares if your stupid avocado slices don’t look perfect


Steak too.

Well… at the table, I guess.

It is so annoying that the person in the video didn’t get the knife-in-pit thing on the first try. Right after he mentions the “giant peanut” texture (between 1:14 and 1:15), you can notice that he tried this at least three times. There are two knife marks on the pit and one knife mark on the actual fleshy body. Plus, you can see he replaced the pit. I hate when non-experts try to give advice.


He did it exactly like I do. There’s little risk. The cut into the pit is done with the momentum of the (light) knife, not by pressing on it with your muscles. In the unlikely event that the knife missed the avocado altogether, it would be unlikely to cause much damage.

Who cares about the neatness of avocado slices? I do. Presentation of food is important to me.

I whack the pit against the inside of the sink to free the pit from the knife, rather than the reverse finger squeeze.


Yes, he uses a surprisingly crap knife for this demo.


Maybe you never had a food service job?


OK Ok. I’ll bite and provide my version:

How to cut an avocado without hurting yourself

Avocados are known for their incredibly tough outer shells, and soft, rubbery flesh inside coupled with a lovely juice that is refreshing when served cold. But be careful! Opening one can be hazardous. Below is how you can make sure to safely access the treasures inside.

  1. Obtain construction grade TNT and some high quality waterproof fuses.
  2. Cut the fuse very long! A good rule of thumb is that these fuses typically burn at one foot per minute. You are going to want to be very far away when the TNT detonates.
  3. Use 2-3 sticks of TNT. The hardened carapace of the Avocado is very resistant to damage.
  4. Place the Avocado and charges in an open field, or if you have access to one, a beach.
  5. Start combing the area for debris, and heaping it on top. This helps to shape the charge and crack the carapace. Broken glass and nails are great items. It also helps to prevent the Avocado from freeing itself, and running away.
  6. Before lighting the fuse, scream “FORE!”. This is common courtesy.
  7. Start running. The direction doesn’t matter much, but I prefer west towards the setting sun.
  8. Keep running until you hear the detonation and the screams of the Avocado.
  9. Come back and enjoy the nicely cooked flesh of the Avocado. Or, alternatively, if it wasn’t the Avocado screaming you heard, call an Adult for help.

Yup, this is exactly how I do it. Although even the final step (running a butter knife through it) can be simplified by just squeezing the halves to pop the flesh out into a bowl or onto toast. It won’t be as pretty, but if you’re smashing/spreading it anyway, it’s faster.

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Came here to say exactly that. Pit whacking is what results in so many injuries. Also, a sharp knife is always safer than a dull knife.


Do we seriously need instructions on how to cut an avocado properly?


Solutions for problems that don’t exist.

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