Craig Mod’s post makes it sound like flying coach and following the usual rules is the has an equivalent effect on health as eating fast food. Those with less money and less time sacrifice their health.
Nice of you to wear that mask to keep from spreading your germs. If you hope it will keep you from catching other people’s germs, you are out of luck.
It might keep them away from you though, giving you a couple of seats of spreading-out room and a lower chance of contagion.
That’s why I print “H7N15” on mine and not “FLU”. Fuck the Normals.
On the one hand, I liked the style of this post, and he is clearly being a bit (entirely?) facetitious. On the other hand, a lot of this is extremely bad advice. Perhaps the worst of all is the idea that arriving early will get you a bulkhead or exit seat, all of which now come with up-charges on every airline, except for premium passengers, who already know that the right way to do this is to select a seat online as soon as possible after purchasing your ticket.
I travel with a baby - it’s the easiest option we terrorists have to take the plane hostage. Last time my family got free bulkhead seats with a bassinet and extra attention by the air hostess. Our daughter was fine and everyone was too relieved that they didn’t have to suffer a screaming baby to notice that we’d been given better seats and got to get off the plane first.
He forgot the booze!!
Or, drive!
He doesn’t mention any contagion-related reasons for wearing the mask. He seems to wear it just to retain humidity in the air he breathes on the plane.
Free business class - on an international flight - because you arrived early?
No.
Someone this serene deserves to arrive early at check-in at Jomo Kenyatta International. Let’s see how long that zen-like calm lasts 
What is everybody’s problem with flying? I do it every day and don’t have any issues.
Surviving the airport is easy. Once I’ve parked the car and boarded a shuttle to my terminal, the worst is over. It’s the stress of disconnecting from the house for longer than a few days, packing, and getting my ass out the door to drive to the airport that’s ulcer-inducing. I’m guessing the Dalai Lama has ‘people’ to handle those arrangements. The monk in his retinue with the most beatific ‘not my circus, not my monkeys’ expression would be the one that packed his clothes.
Airports are full of flourescent lights, high-pitched squeals, and some infernal device with flashing lights and back-up beepers to incapacitate anyone in the same terminal for their safety.
My best trips (both from a work i got done, or fun i had metric) have been my most rushed airport experiences, but i’ve nearly always gotten through thanks to staying happy and assertive.
4hrs wasted in a sterile mall-meets corporate office park-like environment followed by isolation induced by high-dollar headphones and a goofy mask, vs extra hours at my home or destination doing awesomeness, a little extra money in my pocket and a chance to meet my fellow mutants en route? The latter is worth the little extra work and enduring a middle seat on occasion.
The most stressful part of the flight is the waiting at the baggage claim belt.
Yes, the BYOW (Bring Your Own Wings) approach, and its eastern-species equivalents, simplifies things greatly.
You’re just lucky.
Like sentient white beings everywhere, you mistake your privilege for luck.
