Allow me to make a suggestion…
These:
Notice, I did not say “ear plugs,” because most ear plugs are total and complete garbage. Those things will blot out the shrieks of a baby in the next seat. They will eliminate the yammering CNN wall of gibberish. Not only will I not travel without those, I won’t go ANYWHERE without them (I always have four with me, in case I need spares).
They’re not easy to find in brick-and-mortars. Accept no substitutes. They are absolutely bullet proof.
I will say this… you have to put them in right. You have to compress them very small and put them all the way in (but not so far that it’s hard to get them out. It takes practice). The idea is that they expand to completely close off every nook in your ear canal. Noise can’t get in. Deep bass sounds will still penetrate, but everything else… gone.
Other travel tips:
– Why would anyone EVER buy food at an airport? The only time I ever buy food at an airport is when I have hit rock bottom and am absolutely desperate. Yes, just one step above sawing off my own leg. Bring your own. Buy yourself lavish and delicious food to offset the drab, miserable, soul crushing horror of the modern air system. Go to your favorite sandwich place and get something great. Make sure to account for the weather. If it’s a scorching day, avoid the mayo or anything that will turn quickly. The only thing I’ll buy at the airport is coffee from Starbucks. Because their coffee is uniformly awful in the airport as well as out.
– Bring a book, but never anything too intellectually demanding. I find that I am so exhausted from all of the BS that one encounters that I can only process the simplest information. Make it something very entertaining. A page turner, as they say.
– Bring a magazine. One (this goes for the book too. You don’t need two or three. That’s added bulk and weight. Make up your mind. ONE!). This is in addition to your tablet, phone, laptop, or portable game playing device. The idea is that it doesn’t require electricity, you can read it during take-off and landing, and it is lighter than a book. Also, the magazines in airports are generally crap. On planes worse still, if you can get one. Plan ahead.
– Take a leak right before your flight whether you think you need to or not.
– Buy an iPod Shuffle. Best dedicated music player EVER. It’s dirt cheap, has insane battery life, light. Sure, you have your phone, but phones have such awful battery life, do you really want to blow that on some tunes? Load it up with podcasts, music, language lessons, audio books. You can easily get more than enough entertainment on 2 GB.
– As soon as you get on the flight, either loosen or take your shoes off entirely. The decision to do one or the other depends on how sweaty or stinky your feet are. If they are stinky, don’t be a jerk and torment your fellow passengers, just loosen the laces as much as possible, but keep the shoes on out of courtesy. Remember that thing? Courtesy? Some people still practice it. Even on airplanes.
– Fart before you get on the flight. Or watch what you eat before a flight. Yes, this seems odd to say the least, but as a full grown adult, I pretty much know which foods are going to put my gasworks into overdrive, and indeed which farts are going to be the foulest smelling. I love beans and I love garlic. And when I eat those things I can pretty much predict down to the minute when the storm will break. I’m sure you can too. I’ll be careful what I eat before a flight. Don’t be a dick! Plan ahead so your fellow passengers don’t have to suffer just because you had an unbearable craving for bean enchiladas. Be nice and others may be nice to you. Even if they aren’t nice to you, be nice anyway.
– Select movies or TV shows which you are going to watch on your laptop that are family friendly. Listen, I love gore, horror, violent anime, action films, sexually explicit content. I think adults should be able to watch exactly what adults want to watch. I love F-bombs and boobies and all that good stuff. But maybe you could just wait until you’re home to watch that episode of Game of Thrones. Do you care if a six year-old sees someone get stabbed through the mouth? You should. Because you’re a reasonable, sane, and moral human. Pick something a little toothless, a little tame. Again, the courtesy thing. Or save the gore and smut for when you’re in the lobby area and you can watch it with your back to the wall and no one looking over your shoulder.
– Parents, control your kids. “I can’t.” Then you suck as a parent. There’s is nothing more agonizing than a desperate, emasculated parent who tries bargaining, threatening, cajoling, begging with a child. If you’ve reached the point where you keep your fingers crossed that your kid won’t explode, you’ve failed. Here’s another thing… your child’s endless stream of observations, jokes, and questions are not adorable to us. To you, they are gold. To us, noise. Make sure your child uses their “inside voice.” It’s a golden opportunity to instruct them how to interact in the world of other humans. And, don’t encourage them to “let off steam” in the terminal either. You’re just making it clear to them that the world exists for their own amusement. There’s a word for that.
