How to survive travel

boing
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With the exception of the noise cancelling headphones and eyemask, everything this person says is terrible advice:

No, airlines do not magically upgrade you to business class or bulkhead simply by arriving early and asking.
No, there is no quiet spot in the terminal - anywhere!
No, the security queue is not empty simply by virtue of you getting to the airport 4 hours before for your flight.
No airport has healthy food.

Your goal should be to minimize the amount of time spent in the airport. This requires planning and preparation.
My goal is to be walking thru the airport door exactly 1 hour before departure time.Ā  I have never missed a flight in 25 years of flying.

Learn your airport layout to find the quickest possible routes from parking lot to gate. Sometimes the shortest security line is not the one directly next to the check in counter for your airline but rather on the other side of the terminal. Wear slip on shoes and no jewelry. Take only carry-on baggage whenever possible. Check in online the night before and download the boarding pass to your phone. Pre-select your seats. Check flight status often on the airlineā€™s mobile app. Call the airline reservation line in the event of problems. The phone rep can do exactly the same things as the rep at the counter - no need to stand in line with the hundreds of other schmucks if your flight is delayed or cancelled.

Strive to achieve at least mid-tier status on your airline frequent flyer program every year. Sign up for Global Entry, NEXUS, and Clear programs - they are worth every penny.

Do whatever it takes to get TSA PreCheck. This alone is the single best piece of advice for any U.S.-based air traveler. When traveling internationally, only fly non-US based carriers within your preferred alliance program.

Air travel requires patience, flexibility and persistence. Strive for a zen state of peace, calm and total awareness. This is how you survive air travel.

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Hereā€™s a nice piece discussing the relative merits of Global Entry vs TSA PreCheck.

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In a world where 99% of what passes for online conversation is ā€œmehā€ and dyspeptic drive-bys, some of us are just thorough. As for why you perceive my remarks as ā€œpretentious,ā€ I can only conclude that the prophecy of Idiocracy is coming to pass and complete sentences, paragraphs, and detailed thoughts sound ā€œfaggyā€ to you.

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Better tips:

  1. Be rich.

2a) Or at least have enough money to fly a LOT and to choose your preferred airline

2b) And be white.

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Dudeā€¦ ā€œX sucks but would suck so much WORSE if you were a minorityā€ is pretty much the ESSENCE of white privilege.

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Or, the article is pretentious.

Way to make the galactic leap straight to hyper-jackass. You going to go after everyone in this comment thread calling out the articleā€™s flaws with the same zen manner?

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HYPER-jackass, you say?

Wow. That sounds bad.

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@Tzctboin was replying to the topic as a whole, not to you. The fact you self-identified as the person being addressed provides more information about you than about Tzctboin.

And then you made the astronomical leap from ā€œpretentiousā€ to ā€œfaggyā€ as @SteampunkBanana noted.

The poster doth protest too much, methinks.
{with apologies to Shakespeare}

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Yes. Noted later my mistake in identifying to whom the comment was directed.

As for ā€œfaggy,ā€ the reference would be clear to those who are familiar with the film I cited in my original remark (misdirected, though it was).

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Apologies go pretty far in the world instead of doubling down and going plaid.

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Thank you for that unsolicited life lesson, Random Internet Person.

But what you get is plaid.

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Settle down there sporto. Donā€™t get angry at us because you donā€™t know how internet message boards work.

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Not close to being angry.

You did a picture!

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