How to tie the world’s fastest shoelace knot

Trading time for dignity is a poor deal.

I don’t know if anyone else does this, but I automatically measure the string with my pinky. If it is 7/8s of the length of my left pinky, the knot will be perfect.

Ymmv.

I personally just do a figure-8 knot on a bite. I learned that during climbing classes in the scouts for hooking onto the belayed line, and it’s such a fast and secure knot that I use it for everything, and what’s better is that it’s non-chiral. You can tie it from any direction, in any order, and you’ll get the same knot every time, and since it’s on a bite, it’s nearly as easy to back out and untie as it is to tie, and in fact is easier to untie than a square knot (or half the time granny knots).

Doesn’t look pretty but gets the job done, and that’s the only thing that counts in my book. If there’s too much lace left over, I just whip it like a noose with a pass through the loop so I get a “telomere”.

There is no dignity in getting shoelaces caught in a bike chain.

I tie my shoes with the ol’ “one loop and then around the tree” (or whatever you want to call it) method, and I rarely, if ever, have to tie my shoes more than once a day. Unless they accidentally get caught on something and pull out.

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