How to tie your shoelaces like Satan

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Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2020/02/21/how-to-tie-your-shoelaces-like.html

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I admit to trying it just now. Effect wasn’t cool enough to make up for how impossible that makes it to adjust the fit of the laces.

Alas, coolness may be a burden too costly for my feeble mortal feet.

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While I have no doubt that this is appropriate for Satanists, I’m quite certain that Satan himself actually wears Crocs.

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Hail Satan - Dwayne The Rock, Johnson on SNL

Ouch!

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gif_pooh

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Or something more suited to cloven hooves. Satan likes his comfort.

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snl-satan-not-monster

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Never do my shoelaces any other way than a straightforward criss-cross for fear of misjudging how much lace you begin with beyond the top hole at the start so it doesn’t end up near enough symmetrical and this just leaves me in palpatations.

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Are you sure this isn’t a tribute to Smashmouth’s smash hit, All Star?

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I always imagined Satan to be the kind of outwardly charming, impeccably dressed corporate guy who MARKETED Crocs.

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The Devil Wears EVA Foam

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Looks like hell.

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SATAN WEARS CROCS!!!

Mumble, mumble, complete sentence, mumble.

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Tweak it a little for an Elder Sign.

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It depends on who you ask I guess, wearer or observer.
Metal is performative so I’d say it should be the observer who is asked.
From the observers perspective those are the laces of a tree-hugging Wiccan.

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He wears a variant of Vibram Five Fingers called Vibram Cloven Hooves.

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Why not swap into hooves?

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Isn’t the star supposed to be upside down?

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Yes! Pentagram = natural forces, inverted pentagram = unnatural forces. Just ask Harry Dresden.

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