How to use your baby as a piece of exercise equipment


#1

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#2

I’ve totally done this. Works pretty well to keep muscle toned in the first few months,* but that means lots of reps. Once the baby is above 20 lbs, they lose patience though and you’re lucky to get one set in.

*first few months of doing the exercises, not first few months of a baby’s life - they need to be old enough and strong enough, especially the neck muscles, to do these exercises.


#3

Err, actually I think it is meant to be taken literally. The original article has a good disclaimer about making sure your child is old enough, but these all seem like safe exercises to me.


#4

That was kind of awesome and made me chuckle. I’m still eagerly awaiting their next article, “How to wield your toddler as a weapon.”


#5

s/baby/cat/

Most of these exercises work well with a (patient) cat, with the added advantages that cats generally gain weight much more slowly than babies and so will be useful as exercise equipment for many years, and Social Services has much less of sense of humor about these things.

I use my cat to do 2-handed overhead presses, he enjoys the opportunity to inspect the ceiling for cobwebs, often coming back for a second set of reps.


#6

Ha, I totally do this with my 2 year old. He often asks me to do more baby lifts. Added difficulty when they’re all squirmy.


#7

Why does the creepy mustache guy dress up in the baby’s onesie when “exercising?”


#8

It’s only bad when it gets to this stage.


#9

I believe he’s supposed to be an Old-Timey Circus Strongman. Often upstaged by that blog’s more famous mascot, Finely-Moustachioed Gentlemen Boxer.


#10

This is similar to my standard advice to new parents for years: Start doing lifts with your baby each day. By the time they leave for uni you will have phenomenal upper body strength…


#11


Not quite the same, but still worth watching


#12

Protip for maximum gains: try ‘The Milo’.


#13

#14

Actually the rate at which babies gain weight is basically perfect for weight training. Even out-of-shape people can usually life 10 pounds, and can easily double that to 20 in a few months. Plus with a baby you can’t just say ‘I don’t feel like lifting weights today’ you have to do it every single day.

If you want to tone your arms, definitely get a baby.

This does not match my experience. Getting near 40 pounds and basically wants me to throw her around 100% of the time.


#15

Added benefit: once they get too big to lift, they’re also too big to hug (according to them). Get your warm fuzzy contact now, before it’s too late!


#16

Hmm. Maybe I’m currently in a lull. Not sure if I’m looking forward to what comes next - I’m already sooooo tired!


#17

I do pretty much all of these, but mostly #1, #2 and #3.

#1, the Baby Kettlebell Swing, is depicted incorrectly, however. The toddler is supposed to be upside-down, according to the latest standards.

No need to get a camera to check form, you know it’s right if the kid is squealing with pleasure.


#18

You mean I have to wait for a few months after the baby is born? Sigh, there seems to be no immediate usefulness of this thing I’m carrying.


#19

Well, you can actually start number 3 right away. The car seat is supporting the baby’s head and neck so you can lift to your heart’s content.

Oh, did I say you can do that right away? I meant you have to. About a million times a day. A loud siren goes off if you stop to eat or sleep.


#20

What? I have to do things with and for the baby? What did I sign up for?