"I don’t know any man who wants to just snuggle," says anti-Snuggle House city attorney


Advertising doesn’t help. Men in adverts are either models/sportsmen, or they are totally useless, beer swilling, lazy wastes of space who can barely tie their shoelaces without help. Although these doofuses all seem to have married and had children with ultra-capable, model/CEO/ninjas who are raising nine children single-handedly (because said doofus is no use) all while managing to have lots of hobbies and spend time having surprisingly animated coffee-breaks with their girlfriends.

And of course we all have to be into sports.

But then women have had decades of being portrayed as barely conscious simpletons. Perhaps in a few decades time things might have evened out a bit.


On the plus side, you probably didn’t have to watch Sex and the City 2.


I was about to say, this DOES make men angry. At least, the men I know.

I’d also add that one of the things I think helps remove this kind of stigma (which is really just “othering” of different sexes/genders) is actually having non-sexual interactions with those sexes/genders. I have a really different idea of what “guys are like” than a lot of women I’ve met. And, from my anecdata, the one thing that seems to be different between women who really other guys and those who don’t (and, for that matter, men who other women and those who don’t) is whether they’ve had platonic friendships. If you’ve actually been close to someone outside the context of dating and sex, it’s easier to see them as more than just an object for dating/sex.


What’s totally awesome about being a guy is the staggeringly low standard set for us.

Take the kids out by yourself for a few hours? You are now the best dad.
Change a diaper? You are now the best dad and will be publicly praised.
Change a diaper at a playgound when a playoff game is on? Parade and key to the city.

I mean, these are typical parent tasks and whenever a male parent does it people are just in awe. It doesn’t matter if you don’t care about the playoff game and would rather spend the day coloring at the art museum, people will just go on about it. It’s insane.


It’s sad to think people would want to snuggle (and maybe even pay to snuggle?) with a stranger. I can’t imagine being so starved for that kind of physical connection that’s not even sexual, just another human person up against you, that that seems like fun. That sounds to me like a really major kind of loneliness and a sad thing to say about a city that it’s got enough people in it that sounds appealing to keep a place like that open.

I like to snuggle with my husband (and he seems to enjoy it,too), but it’s because we’re in love with each other. There’s an emotional connection there,too, not just the biological human desire to be touched by other humans every now and then. I think it would feel super icky to share that experience with someone else I wasn’t in love with. Even more than it would to go have sex with someone I wasn’t in love with. I’m pretty sure I’d be less disturbed to find out he’d visited a brothel and had intercourse with a stranger than that he went to a snuggle house just to curl up with someone else.

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I keep picturing Vincent and Jules in “Pulp Fiction,” debating about whether a foot massage is an inherently sexual act.

“If a snuggle doesn’t mean anything, would you give a guy a snuggle? I’m feeling a little lonely, I could use a little snuggle myself.”


I have a feeling the woman in the article is not a pet owner and maybe doesn’t know any pet owners. I bet she’d be SHOCKED how many men and women she knows that love to snuggle with their pets. That calm physical connection with another sentient being’s warm body is comforting and they dig it, even if it’s not a person they’re in love with, or even actually another human. It’s a pretty decent substitute and produces a lot of the same warm happy chemical reactions. And I bet none of those pet owners are just using saying they enjoy just cuddling with their dogs and cats as a front for bestiality.


‘‘What I meant to say was that I don’t know any real men who just want to snuggle. That’s the messaging I was supposed to put out there. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go deposit a rather large paycheck from the patriarchy.’’


This isn’t a blog post, this is a business plan. A business plan for a snuggle house annex that’s full of snuggly dogs. If I didn’t have my 50 pound snugglebug at home, I’d get a yearly pass TODAY.


I like that

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And yet, you sell ONE child…

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Reminded me of Karl Pilkington’s cuddle-party experience.

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See - no one wants you, you corporate shill.

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I have to admit that when I read the article I thought “It is a sad and lonely person who needs this service”, but then I thought that it might be the highlight of their week, having real human contact after days of tedious office work and alienating city life.


Yes! I completely agree with this. That’s why I don’t like the notion of separate education for girls/boys. Even though there are some problems with co-ed education (IMO most of them caused by traditional methods of teaching that could be corrected in ways other than apartheid) I think it is crucial for genders to mix and mingle throughout their lives; have opportunities to make friends, work alongside one another, fraternize, empathize, etc.

The best way to understand and respect another is to experience life alongside them, to see first hand that they share remarkably similar drives, challenges, desires, etc, despite differences in gender, age, race, etc…

I’ve always had many platonic male friends. Many of those friendships have been lasting for decades and every one of these people are like family. So it makes me bristle every time I hear people saying that ‘true’ friendship between men/women is supposedly impossible; because that broad statement is demeaning to not only my own experiences but also the character of the wonderful friends in my life. I do think that this unfortunate observation is true to too many people, but that’s because they have internalize that gender is some rigid binary instead of merely another highly nuanced set of characteristics that billions of humans express in as many personal ways. If you bust out the doors expecting a pile of stereotypes, chances are you will fulfill your own prophecy by precisely seeking those stereotypes.

Anyways. I guess all I’m saying is that most men in my life definitely can dig a good snuggle. At face value.


Plenty of them do, but they’re just dirty MRAs who need to be shouted down. Men are in a privileged position in society and should stop complaining every time somebody hurts their feelings. After what they’ve done to women and minorities for centuries…


According to the video and the website, the snugglers are employees (1 man, 3 women). The sting would presumably be to have some officers go in for a cuddle session and ask for extras (and then go after the owner for running a brothel). Unless they’re going to have female officers train at “Snuggle U”, get jobs at the place, and then go after the clients (the sting might not last very long once they escorted a few clients out the front door in cuffs, and they’d have trouble pinning anything on the owner).

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AFAIK the whole point of having a housecat is having a casual snuggle partner who doesn’t cost a lot and leaves rare and typically shallow wounds.

Well… unless you just love bug and lizard carcasses (I’m not judging).

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Sexism hurts men.

Saying sexism only hurts men, or that reducing sexism has to come as a LOSS to women is stupid… very stupid but also very clear in what it signifies.

Dodging before this post becomes nauseating since the first strawman argument has been put forth and the dreaded MRA bomb has been dropped.


Sigh. Part of the problem here is that:

(a) our species, like the bonobos, has integrated sexuality into our grooming behavior repertoire and without social pressure there isn’t a really sharp line between them until one gets to specifically genital stimulation toward orgasm;

(b) our society doesn’t deal at all well with sexuality and historically has entrenched assumptions that touch (heck, that most interaction between folks who are potentially compatible) must be aimed toward eventual seduction.

© There was the whole “nice girls never say yes” thing, which did immesurable harm by breaking the clarity of “no means no”. Thanks be to all the gods and daemons, we seem to finally be crossing the hump of fixing that. So to speak.

I’ve always approved of the fact that SF fandom is, overall, a bit less hung up on touch. Friends of either/any gender may be greeted with hugs and backrubs, and sometimes strangers if they indicate willingness. There are some other subcommunities who have carved out similar space for nonthreatening grooming behavior.

Having said that: I’ve never quite understood paying for sex anyway, so I’m not sure I understand paying for cuddling either. Being held while I sob, if nobody else is available, maybe… but pets can partly fill that particular need.