I found a locked safe hidden at the back of a closet in my new house

Kickstarter opportunity?

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Never mind turkeys, you’re keeping credulous rubes with disposable income in suspense.

Do the right thing!

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Hey Rob, have you considered something along the lines of selling us reprobates raffle tickets to fund the locksmith? 50% of the riches (or horrors) contained within to the winner. I could really use half of nothing right about now. Or 2.5 questionable wishes off a monkey’s paw.

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Considered it? Why do you think you he started the thread in the first place?

Rob will be in deep trouble if the safe does have anything in it, hence why he’s so interested in do it yourself safe cracking methods before he calls the lockslocksmith.

:smiley:

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This?

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  • dubloons
  • deed to a sinister mansion
  • puzzle box that opens the gates of hell
  • dust
  • portal to a mysterious yet oddly Christian fantasy kingdom

0 voters

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If there’s dust in it that means there’s probably already an opening in it big enough for an endoscope.

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Mansions aren’t sinister. They are simple abodes. What one chooses to do with it could result in sinister events, but it isn’t like the mansion has a soul that is tainted.

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What, no option for “a second, smaller safe”?

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Presumably @beschizza’s significant other is aware of these shenanigans and this thread. If that were me, I’d already have purchased a smaller safe and the services of a locksmith to put it in there while he was out just for the lulz when he opened it.

Also, open the damn safe already. Gaaaah!

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That would be pretty clever. I wouldn’t put it past her.

What she’d do though is something really weird and spooky, like a faded watercolor painting of my childhood dog.

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I like her already!

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No kidding! Is she seeing anyone?

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Me too. And I’m sure now it would be something stranger than the faded watercolour of the childhood dog. :wink:

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Like find a puppy not tell @beschizza about it, have a faded water colour painting of it done and stuck in there. Bring the dog home and wait the several years until he finally opens the damn safe.

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She once gave me a pizza box and there was one clementine in it.

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A doll of the girl from the walking dead game?

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That sounds darling!

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When I’m trying to hide something weird and spooky I like to go with images of Tom Selleck. People get surprisingly startled when they run into this unexpectedly:

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Spooky is Selleck without the fur.

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