I found a locked safe hidden at the back of a closet in my new house

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Fuck, no.

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Welp, glad that’s settled

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I remember I upset Stephen Mangan on the twitters when I told him I thought that the R4 Harry Enfield adaptation was better.

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529

Those balloon tires are going to deform all to shit under the weight of a safe.

@beschizza What about hydrofluoric acid? I’m sure somebody here could source it for you.

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530

Hey, I didn’t mean that exact one! In fact, I’m sure you’d need one with a long but not-too-wide fork, and as you say, solid wheels.

This is a fun thread, with a hopefully-not-too-distant conclusion. Can’t wait!

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Maybe Rob should just sell off tickets that let you try to open the safe by manipulation. Winner takes all.

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Remember, there’s a guaranteed grand prize!

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533

I am of the same opinion of using the safe as a piece of furniture. Keep some fancy booze in it and turn it into part of a bar :smiley:

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You’ll also deform or snap off that bottom plate. Had a…situation with a cheap hand truck and too many kegs once upon a time.

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I do not comprehend

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Big order needed to be packed away quickly. We some how engineered a way to get 3, 1/2 kegs on one hand truck. The usual practical limit is 1, 2 if you’re pushing it. Snapped the bottom plate right the hell off, and we had to move all our keggy goodness by hand there after. Too many kegs is only too many kegs when you have move and manage them.

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safe.JPG4377×2918 2.2 MB

Now that I’ve seen it, and how it was walled in, I am convinced: it’s full of skulls.

Doubloons or other valuables would be long-since spent. There’s something(s) in there that someone didn’t want found.

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“Where justice is denied, where poverty is enforced, where ignorance prevails, and where any one class is made to feel that society is an organized conspiracy to oppress, rob and degrade them, neither persons nor property will be safe.”

  • Frederick Douglass

“A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are made for.”

  • John Augustus Shedd (sometimes misattributed to Grace Hopper)

“Philosophical problems can be compared to locks on safes, which can be opened by dialing a certain word or number, so that no force can open the door until just this word has been hit upon, and once it is hit upon any child can open it.”

  • Ludwig Wittgenstein

There you go!

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I will order them forthwith! I like the idea of turning the safe into a living room end table or somesuch

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Make it into a mini fridge - for the really good ice cream and other goodies

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543

Clearly you shouldn’t have ripped that fourth keg in half to add on.

:stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

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544

Wait, is this thread being directed by JJ Abrams?

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So we’re all dead. We’re ashes inside the safe and when the door opens we’ll feel cheated by that ending?

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No no, this is all just a dream the safe is having, and when it opens it turns out we’re polar bears.

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