I found a locked safe hidden at the back of a closet in my new house

we already discussed cellars and tunnels in this thread *wink* *wink* *nudge* *nudge*

8 Likes

The absolute worst part of planning a heist:

Having to solicit competitive bids from contractors and trying to decide who to hire…

24 Likes

Well, the absolute worst part is dragging the crew down there and hyping the damn thing for two solid hours, only to reveal that it was empty all along.

10 Likes

But How Did We Get on the Island!

3 Likes

ā€œThird National Bank and Trustā€ is a family name, of course we had it painted on the house. How could you doubt it?

6 Likes

How hilarious would it be if the safe was actually full of dubloons? In the form of dried-out rancid chocolate gelt.

13 Likes

Given what I typically find in unexpected places its either full of dead rodents and decaying leaves or my car keys.

10 Likes

In think we all secretly expect it’s full of trolling.

5 Likes

Are we sure that would fit?

3 Likes

I really, really hope it isn’t stuffed with body parts…

:-0

2 Likes

So, do these folks stick one of those promotional contractor signs in your lawn while they are working? ā€œOnsite Safecracking by Honest Bob’s Discreet Locksmithingā€?

11 Likes

First bid is $400 plus taxes. Woof!

19 Likes

Back to the thermal lance idea. (Can you see if there are any lockpicking clubs in your area? Assuming such things even exist - surely they do! Host a meetup and set them a challenge…)

7 Likes

Why don’t you try selling the safe on eBay as a Mystery Box?

10 Likes

At this point, you could crowdfund it.

16 Likes

Ooooh yeah…

Maybe you could sell shares to get a ā€œpiece of da actionā€

8 Likes

I’m in for one. Not sure what I’d do with a 1/50th part of a dimensional portal to a realm of pain and horror though.

28 Likes

Timeshare? Get in early, get the first weekend in August?

17 Likes

Good idea. Go somewhere nice and warm for the winter. A fortnight in an Australian February is pretty close to the banefires of the damned anyway, just a touch more humid.

8 Likes

Time to build an Arduino safecracking bot…

6 Likes