I found a locked safe hidden at the back of a closet in my new house

I would do that, but it’s almost as expensive as a locksmith ($200 or so for the hardware) and who knows if the safe’s lock is even working after all this time

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We’d never know until we found out. It would be another way to milk another few potential weeks of internet amusement out of this whole situation.

I mean, it’s looking like mid-three-figures costs will be covered, and we’ve been a rapt audience for nine months without any capital investment by the ringmaster. Time for some showmanship!

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Safe-fest? (or Safest). Charge a line of people 5 bucks to have a go at the combination. There will be tiny commemorative safes with useless mystery junk locked inside.

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Quick someone break in and open the safe

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No. Someone break in and install a larger safe, weld the old one inside.

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This has promise. Can we quickly repurpose the Gofundme while Rob is still on vacation?

Wait, wait… got to think inside the box here. Can we quickly build a safe around his whole house?

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is his neighborhood unsafe?

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That would be disappointing.

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Also, what are the rules about cursed doubloons, would just Rob be cursed, or does everybody who chips in also get cursed? And what about the locksmith, does s/he get cursed as well? That wouldn’t seem fair.

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What if that chamber also had a chamber in it…

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Ok, so where’s the one for you not to open the safe?

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And what about the locksmith, does s/he get cursed as well? That wouldn’t seem fair.

They knew that was part of the job when they decided not to be a baker.

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Stretch goal: make @beschizza do as he’s fucking told, and buy the robot to open the damn safe. Kicks in at $400.01. Go, go Invisible Hand!

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Go, go Robotic Hand!

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Any crowdsourced anchovy paste is to be sent to me.

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I am not Googling “Gentlemen’s Relish.”

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Even “anchovy paste”… especially “crowdsourced anchovy paste” sounds morally and nutritionally suspect. Li’l Baby Jesus is spitting up in His manger at the very thought.

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Like any cursed item the curse should be on the doubloons themselves. Meaning whoever has possession of them is totes boned.

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I did, it sounds delish!

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