I found a locked safe hidden at the back of a closet in my new house

[Mindysan33]

A thread? Do we need a thread?

[Grey_Devil]

Is the zombie of Rob Ford preventing the safe from being opened?

[OtherMichael]

Bring me the head of Charlie Hebdo?

[OtherMichael]

Old Rob dead? Then I’m the King of the Canucks!

[Melizmatic]

@rkt88edmo

I just dropped in to see what condition your safe’s condition was in.

How has this not been posted yet?

The Big Lebowski music video.Just Dropped In (To See What Condition My Condition Was In)

[Melizmatic]

@FerrisWheeler

Some of us believe that we should leave the softballs for the darlings.

And where is my tee-shirt, dammit?

*lolz

[d_r]

@teknocholer

@chgoliz

Kenny Rogers was in The First Edition?

Also, as I just found out, before that he was in The New Christy Minstrels.

Kids.

[chgoliz]

In fact, though, it’s more likely to be old-lady-brain: I was a folkie for decades, so I’m sure I knew that at some point.

[MarkDow]

It’s Right in the Name: Safes Are Safe. Except for Two on New Year’s Eve.

[Grey_Devil]

Should hire these guys

[anon63496581]

[Melizmatic]

@chgoliz

I’m sure I knew that at some point.

I never knew that there was a point when Kenny Rogers was actually cool; I wasn’t born until '75 and my Gram liked all his hokey country stuff, so I thought that’s all he ever did. Live & learn.

>__<

[Medievalist]

Position a neodyminum magnet the size of two stacked hockey pucks over the solenoid that retracts the door pins, hit smartly with shorty sledgehammer. Be sure to wrap the magnets with a great deal of tape since you might have to hit them hard enough to shatter. If the tape is nice and slippy you won’t leave a single mark anywhere on the safe, it’ll just be “magically” opened.

Will not work on Rob’s safe, or rather, it might work, but would not leave the safe undamaged. The gears would be shattered or stripped since there’s no solenoid. So don’t do that, Rob.

EDIT: Oh, and you’ll need some planning to get the magnet off the safe, but if you build your wooden carrier appropriately you can use the hammer for that, too.

[beschizza]

Alright, I’m calling the locksmiths again today and tomorrow. I figure it’ll be open by the END OF THIS WEEK. Video will be provided

[anon26304152]

I knew the allure of space bars would be enough to get dials-a-turnin’

An interesting collection of artisanal space bars

You know where I would hide some bespoke, artisanal space bars? In a safe. I would look there.

[Mindysan33]

@beschizza

Alright, I’m calling the locksmiths again today and tomorrow. I figure it’ll be open by the END OF THIS WEEK.

[TailOfTruth]

@beschizza

I figure it’ll be open by the END OF THIS WEEK.

[OtherMichael]

@beschizza

I figure it’ll be open by the END OF THIS WEEK.

By an amazing coincidence, I have recently come into a vintage piece of property in NYC that I must unload by the END OF THIS WEEK!

Be the envy of your friends, neighbors, enemies and frenemies! Host parties and commuter traffic! Get to the other side!

Tender offers now, it’s sure not to last long!

---

Why, YES! We do take Blitkoinz!

[nimelennar]

Hey, that property backs onto my Arizona beachfront property! We can sell them as a package deal!

[Grey_Devil]

What a coincidence. I have an old rusty building that i’ve tried selling off a few times for scrap… can i throw that in there as part of the deal?