I found a locked safe hidden at the back of a closet in my new house

What’s in the box? Pain!

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  1. You cut a hole in a box.
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TWO. Put your junk in that box.

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3… have her open the box…

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Schrodinger’s dick in a box. Until she opens the box and observes, it will contain both a dick or nothing at all.

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Or rather the dick exists in two different states simultaneously. After the box is opened, the action of the observer affects the state of the thing observed.

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What if it was a wormhole but we’re already in the alternate version.

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Is this meant to be a punishment? It’s worth remembering Rob’s original nationality; I bet he’d appreciate a good Branston Pickle on toast. I know I would, at least…can’t get that stuff around here.

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The grass is always greener, I guess.

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Unless they screwed up

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I have no idea; that was 22 days ago. I can’t even remember who I was then! You ask too much!

Amazon pantry to the rescue… or make your own!

I like Branston Pickle on a scotch egg, personally, with a draft McEwan’s.

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Schrödinger’s Dinger.

Alternatively:

Schrödinger’s Dong

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Could go further and change the parameters of the thought experiment to make it relevant to the current generation.

Schroedinger sexts an unsuspecting woman a picture of his dong. Unfortunately he has reception problems and is unsure if she received the sext or not.

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A classic

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