This safe is clearly a plot device, some sort of metaphor for BB, a long-running saga subplot that will keep going as long as BB exists. The locksmith will break his tools on it (because TRUMP WON), they will try to find a similar model to study (JUST LOOK AT THIS BANANA-SHAPED SAFE), an experimental engineering method will be devised to extract it from the wall (HERE IS A NEW GIZMO), and so on and so forth.
If I could just sit across from Parker Posey and gaze into her eyes for eternity, Iād never need to know whatās in the safe.
Whenās your birthday? Weāll post an annual picture of her in this thread.
Eventually the thread is going to end up with the last 4,444 comments as Posey pics.
Whew.
For a moment there Iād thought Iād missed something.
Oh but you have. You just donāt know it yet.
Iām pretty sure both my grandfathers were (and one still is) that guy. But only one of them was the murder hillbilly type. The other is 5 foot Irish guy in a very nice sweater.
Have we been listening to a wee little man with ginger hair tell us about his secret treasure all this time?
If I understand my Irish Folklore correctly we should all be keeping a very close watch on our cows at this point.
Heāll remember having forgotten once the safe is opened and the time leak is exposed.
Only the riding ones.
Maybe we wonāt hear from Rob because the safe was actually the lost Ark of the Covenant and Rob and the locksmith didnāt know all they had to do to avoid Wrath of God Face Melting was close their eyesā¦
Update: it wonāt be until next week because special equipment is required for a nondestructive opening. I presume itās the fiber optic camera stuff to see inside the safe after drilling a hole, etc.
IT IS HAPPENING
I was tempted to just disappear from the face of the internet for about three months and just post under my coeditorsā names, but I would get caught.
Are you keeping the same time slot? I have to set up the VCR, yāknow. I donāt want to end up with a tape full of Cory rambling about Tasmanian copyright.
Will the approach be to drill and scope to peek at the safe contents, to see if thereās anything within other than ghost farts, before going through the trouble of actually opening the lock? Or, if most of the fun is likely to be derived from the lock-opening porn itself, will Mister Scopey resist the temptation to cast its unblinking eye over the Loot Room and merely confine its gaze to the lock mechanism itself, thus maximizing the drama of the moment the door creaks open, but also raising the effort-vs-payoff stakes?
I think I already know the answer, though I think Iād probably peek first before committing to opening. Iām no oak.
Eh from what Iāve seen they only drill through the front plate of the safe, so they can see the internal wheels while they fiddle with the dial. Evil will still be completely sequestered behind the door. To be unleashed only when the door is cracked.
I ran out of gas! I got a flat tire! I didnāt have change for cab fare! I lost my tux at the cleaners! I locked my keys in the car! An old friend came in from out of town! Someone stole my car! There was an earthquake! A terrible flood! Locusts! IT WASNāT MY FAULT, I SWEAR TO GOD!
