Yeah.[quote=“Snowlark, post:38, topic:90680”]
Listening to music, singing along to music, and crying.
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HFS yeah. Still learning that last one, but it’s amazingly helpful (though sometimes comes at odd times).
Talking with my little brother, Mom, Dad, a few choice friends is always something that helps, but spending time in their physical company is best.
Noticing beauty in the world. I’ll take my camera somewhere and wander (sunrise/sunset is good for this), and I almost always come away with a pretty or pretty-enough shot that takes my mind elsewhere, even if briefly.
I like to say it in jest, but it’s totally true: adulting is hard.
I am usually fine with living in the abyss. But when I feel that my interactions with people have become too dysfunctional, one of the best remedies I have found is to cook for people. Such as my friends or family, if I have any around. But I will feed just about anybody the best food I can manage to make.
You aren’t the only one who worries all the time. I’m working up the nerve to get some counseling over anxiety and depression issues, but I’m not quite there yet. Reading helps some, when I have the time. Cuddling the dogs helps some. Music helps, and I’m looking into finding new hobbies or reviving some of my old ones. I have a bit of wine on rare occasions, but it’s not that useful for me. And of course, this site and all the amazing people on it is a big help! Though I cancel a lot of my posts too.
I saw a peregrine on a drive yesterday and that made me feel a little better. (side note: never bird and drive. never bird and drive. I need to stop that.)
I got hit with crippling depression this morning so I skipped part of school and went home and I feel really useless right now and reading some of this helps.
yeah, I had a female red-bellied woodpecker on my feeder today. It made me really happy for a moment. And something on reddit gave me a belly laugh. All these little signs that things might just get back to being okay if I don’t stop them.
Posted in what makes me happy thread but… it goes with the title of this one. Plus it’s a big smile maker. You can see what a blast these guys are having.
I’ve done that before, and it was fantastic in hindsight (even if often boring in the moment). I got discouraged because my first therapist wasn’t particularly good, which I figured out when my second one was.
Turns out that as unique as our problems are as individuals, there are well trod paths to clarity and relief. And the work is definitely worthwhile if only to let yourself off the hook for the wrong things and put yourself on the hook for the right ones. As said above, adulting is hard.
Hardest part is knowing you screwed up royally and pressing onward anyway. I mentioned elsewhere my grandfather was a louse … once he lost everything he ended up rebuilding from the ground up … created a much better life for himself, and for others in the process. Word.
When I stay in a hotel, I put up the do-not-disturb sign when I’m out of the day (I like leaving my stuff all over the place and I don’t want the maids dealing with that). But … I take it down at night that way if I die overnight they’ll find my body quicker.
Edit: My mom’s cousin (this guy Carlos Castillo Peraza - Wikipedia) died on a business trip. Not sure if it was in his hotel but it was heart attack. It’s been a fear of mine.
I think it was my great grandfather who did the same: he went to his usual hotel and the receptionist asked him how he was. He said he’d never felt better, then died half an hour later.
I started doing Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. Most Jiu Jitsu communities are very welcoming of people of all backgrounds, age, and levels of physical fitness. No matter what set backs you have in life, you can always work on improving your Jiu Jitsu skills. But something as simple as running can also be pretty awesome when stressed.
Walking my dog more. Got a ton of work offered to me and accepted most of it. Returned all the christmas presents and am spending the money on good things for me including joining a gym (for the first time ever and flat out told the guy who ran the workout area that I had a bit of gymphobia which he was awesome about) and found myself an M.D. professional for my anxiety. Also used some of that money to get coffee with a new friend. A new friend who flirted with me the whole time though the dinner and a couple beers that the coffee turned into. This is someone I had met just before that relationship started. I can’t imagine actually asking anyone on a date for a few weeks at least, but making a smart friend who thinks you’re cute is not the worst thing for a single man’s battered (but rallying) ego.
Just having a dog can be wonderfully therapeutic. Having another life to take care of can help make you more responsible for your own. Animals can also be a tremendous comfort. A few years ago I had a temporary routine of getting up for a few minutes then going back to bed. I’d let one of our dogs who didn’t normally sleep in the bed join me.
He quickly got used to it. He’d run down the hall ahead of me and would stand in the middle of the bed, so excited that it was nap time! Then as soon as I lay down he’d curl up, all sixty pounds of him leaning into me. If I moved even a little bit he’d let out a long disgruntled moan as if to say “Be still! I’m sleepin’ here!” That always made me laugh before I went back to sleep.
