If JG Ballard designed an earwax removal tool kit


#1

Originally published at: http://boingboing.net/2017/05/26/if-jg-ballard-designed-an-earw.html


#2

I have major earwax problems. I regularly go in with fingernails and Debox and I still sometimes have autophony. But does any ENT doc recommend a product like this?

I could really use the camera-mounted vacuum I saw at the ENT last time.


#3

I think this works better for the hard wax Asian ears make. I have one, and not being Asian it is meh.


#4

My son has a recurring major earwax problem, and I’ve had to take him into the doctor several times to get his ears cleaned out to where he could hear properly again. They never used anything other than repeated flushings with a gigantic syringe full of warm water to flush it out.

Didn’t the Journal of Irreproducible Results give an Ignobel Prize to a medical journal article on using a Supersoaker to clean somebody’s ears out?


#5

As someone with wide ear canals - Q-Tipping is more of a swirling action than a packing one - this sounds relevant to my interests.


#6

Whatever happened to you should never put anything smaller than your elbow in your ear, just leave them alone most of the time the wax will just fall out.


#7

I am reminded of this passage from Neal Stephenson’s Quicksilver:

Hooke removed a long slim deerskin wallet from his breast pocket and unrolled it on his lap. It contained a neat row of slim objects: diverse quills and slivers of cane. He selected a tendril of whalebone-set the wallet aside-spread his knees wide-leaned forward-inserted the whalebone deep into his throat-wiggled it-and immediately began to vomit up bile. Daniel watched with an empiric eye, until he had made sure the vomit contained no blood, parasites, or other auspices of serious trouble.


#8

Nah man, the trouble is that the eardrum itself is…what’s the word? non-dynamic tissue? Just like the cartilage in your knees, it never heals completely if injured.

So every ENT everywhere says the same thing: “Throw those q-tips out, and use gentle water + time to solve earwax issues, because that ear drum is paper thin and once worn down, never returns.”


#9

Well, I don’t go scraping my eardrum. That’s just like, crazy.


#10

Having had one of mine punctured a couple of times, I can say it’s not much like the cartilage in your knees, but you don’t want to damage it. It heals completely, but seems to heal back thicker and is thus less responsive to vibration. I only need one earplug in a high noise environment.


#11

I use the ‘elephant ear ear cleaning system’ which is essentially a spray bottle with a flexible tube on the end. It’s basically worked wonders as otherwise I get ear blockages every 4-6 months or so and used to have to pay for a clinic visit.


#12

That is not for removing ear wax. That is for removing shatter or THC wax. It is a dab tool.


#13

I disagree that it’s designed for that - in clinics I’ve been to they’ve had a set of tools just like that and used them; but it’s used by a trained medical professional who can SEE what they’re doing, not some bumfuck at home. They’re also specifically called out as earwax tools.

I’m not saying you can’t use them for thc stuff buuuuuut it’s a little silly to say ‘oh that’s not what it’s for’. This isn’t a quoteunquote ‘spice grinder’.


#14

EAR CANDLES! CURES EVERYTHING! CUT IT OPEN TO SEE BAD SPIRITS AND CANCER SEEDS INSIDE!

(The editor doesn’t seem to think that is a complete sentence. Which is intentional. But this one is.)


#15

Aww I was hoping for a description as written by the late J.G. Ballard.


#16

CUT IT OPEN TO SEE BAD SPIRITS AND CANCER SEEDS INSIDE!


#17

So you’re advocating…candle power?

(sorry…not really sorry)


#18

BY THAT SNIDE REPLY I ASSUME YOU ARE A DUPE OF ANTI_CANDLE BIG PHARMA!!!

(Damn, I can’t find a way to underline three times.)

(Ear candling is the ear equivalent of those foot pads that were big for a while that supposedly sucked toxins out of the soles of your feet.)


#19

Eh, I’m not so sure. Either a hundred or so reviews are by otomasochists, or they’ve found a better use for it.


#20

Lots of products claim to be good for the sole.