Incarcerated fraudster Martin Shkreli says he can cure coronavirus if he's released from prison

Have him work on Ebola first, try the vaccine and or medicine on himself first; if it works, he can go back to jail while the money the drug makes can pay for all the damages he done (one of the conditions of his semi-freedom). If it fails, well, justice is served in another way, he is proven wrong and doesnt cost anything to anyone.
win-win.

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Zoidberg says “Oh, wait…”

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When I think of Hell on Earth, this guys mug shows up.

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I know what he can do.

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A three month furlough spent in tar and feather would work. And then back to the pokey with justice still intact.

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Objectively, I am in favor of furloughing all non-violent offenders during the pandemic.

But that very punchable face makes me feel extremely non-objective…

I think you’re low-balling there… the pharma bro would start by tacking on some extra zeros :rage:

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Thanks, Lex Luthor, I’m sure you could’ve cured cancer by now if you weren’t so busy trying to kill Superman. But then if you were going to do it, you would’ve done it already, so no thanks, go ahead and rot in prison.

How About No

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I’ll wager he was smirking as he typed that out.

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Does punching Martin Shkreli in the face cure coronavirus? Only one way to find out!

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$5 says he gets a Trump pardon and is named new federal health director.

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What have we got to lose?

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our lives.

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The weird thing is why he thought this would work. He’s never overseen the development of a drug. Literally his only involvement in the pharmaceutical business was hiking the price of a drug until people who needed it but couldn’t get it died. It’s like a serial killer offering his “expertise” as a surgeon…

If we sell tickets, we’ll definitely get enough money to develop a cure.

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“Face for the Cure” 2020 registration now open!

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Well, to have statistical significance it would have be repeated many, many* times.

*insert your choice of “many,many,many” etc

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But think of all the shareholder value high pricing would create!

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Why didn’t Michael Vick think of that? Ah, right. Football asshole, not pharmaceutical executive asshole. I get a lot of those high paying professions confused.

“Hey, Shkreli! Go long! Longer! Lonnnnger! Keep going! Almost there…”

Thanks for publicising this, I was worried that monsters with less than nothing to contribute to society didn’t have enough of a platform

Hear me out!

Yes, but he waives all medical patents derived from anything he touches for the rest of his life, and those patents are released immediately into the public domain.

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