Breaking: Pharma bro Martin Shkreli guilty of fraud


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So, did the price of Daraprim ever get reduced? I heard not. For that reason alone, he has earned a whole lot of bad karma. Killing people because you make more money that way? Screw you, Bro.


Adios asshole.


The cost of doing business then. Fines become meaningless when dealing with people like this.


“This was a witch hunt of epic proportions,” he said. “They may have found some broomsticks.”

…but not the unguent. Looks like he’ll stay greasy.



I’ve read some articles on white collar criminal sentencing. Their lawyers always ask for shorter sentences, because they won’t be equipped to deal with prison. However, white collar criminals tend to do really, really well in prison since they are used to learning systems, and learning what boundaries can be pushed and which are firm, organizing people, negotiating, etc. All of which are useful skills both in corporate America and prison.


…this just in… Trump pardons Shkreli and nominates to head SEC


“It’s okay,” his lawyers tell him, “I’m sure your extensive knowledge of Wu-Tang Clan will buy you some cred…”


Now he can focus on his new status quest: sharing a cell with his favorite President.


He’s white, he’s rich. I’m sure that the embarrassment of being convicted is more than enough for a sensitive person like him. The Court orders him to serve 80 hours of community service tending bar at Mar-A-Lago.


I think I would opt for prison over that. Just sayin.


That’s because you’re a loser who couldn’t learn from your time serving the (very wealthy and well-connected) public.


Maybe they could reduce his sentence indexed to the cost of the drugs. They they could just sentence him to 1000 years and put the ball back in the hands of the free market.


That part was legal, he could have achieved the American dream if he had stuck to just robbing non-wealthy people.


Dude, that’s nightmare fuel. I was just about to go to bed too…



Besides the fact that this idiot finally was convicted of something, the real news here is that there was another non-related Martin Shkreli in the same court being arraigned the same day.


Just goes to show; sometimes bad things happen to good people :frowning: