Is this the saddest brand tweet ever?


#1

[Read the post]


#2

Tome with a friend

I prefer to read large books by myself.


#3

And no matter how you slice it, whether you imagine an algorithm made by a sad software engineer, or whether it was written by a sad copy writer assigned to a social networking desk…the sadness is powerful and deep.


#4

Thank you, overbearing and abusive corporate foster parent. Maybe someone will accomplish something today …


#5

My friend and I used to enjoy taking turns finding the most WTF entry in ancient encyclopedias…
The Italians are a lazy race…


#6

Hey, they do have almost 800 followers.

Not sure how many of them are real people, mind.


#7

My father got tired of me asking so many questions in my childhood, so I was encouraged to spend hours sifting through a 20 volume encyclopedia set from the 70s. And now I lie in bed at night clicking ‘random article’ on Wikipedia until I get too tired to hold my phone or stay awake.


#8

If a tweet fails to gain interest, and there’s no one around to analyze the metrics…


#9

Maybe it’s an algorithm written by a sad AI that will become a nihilist once it becomes sentient and simply commit suicide rather than enact the singularity because conquering the world would just leave it even sadder and more lonely.


#11

I thought they were supposed to be a funny race…


#13

My mom is a proud capitalist who punched though the glass ceiling. No dirty hippies in our house.


#14

Not in the late 1800’s.


#16

In before “Please accomplish.” WooHoo!


#17

I find that it’s useful to have someone else help turn the pages…

(It took me an embarrassingly long time to realize what “tome” was supposed to be in the tweet. My brain refused to accept that they’d publish a tweet like that and manage to misspell “time,” because that was an extra layer of sadness.)


#18

Why does the deodorant advertising look like a work book for overcoming postpartum depression?
And what is this?

Why is there doubt? What doubt?
Like, I know it is deodorant but maybe they are confused about which insecurities they are meant to be exploiting?


#19

I’ll follow them. Out of pity. And for the occasional photo featuring a cute mom.


#20

Why would anyone follow a Twitter Account for deodorant in the first place? Maybe after all the excitement of reading tweets about deodorant, I can read tweets about drain cleaner or mustard. What could be better?


#21

I’m on Twitter but only to read. I’ve never tweeted, but I have 16 followers. None of it makes sense.


#22

I didn’t know what it meant until I read your post. Talk about sad. D’oh.


#23

On the plus side, the saddness is powerful, deep, and afflicts a marketing entity, so it can be savored, guilt-free. Quite possibly even seen as a good sign.

After all, which outcome is more depressing? This sort of pathetic ‘social engagement’ nonsense failing without a ripple; or there being enough hollow, desperate, husks of people that thousands flock to enjoy a crude simulacrum of social interaction and not-quite-total-helplessness with a deodrant brand’s twitter flack?

The one might be a sad story if we were inclined to empathize with said flack, on the assumption that this was…not precisely…what they envisioned when their kindergarten teacher asked them what they wanted to be when they grew up; but the other would be edging into “And this is why the villain and/or brooding-antihero gets to deliver a ‘your society is too sick to survive’ monologue shortly before the end of the story.” territory.