Just add Guinness: the strange world of prefab "Irish pubs"


Originally published at: http://boingboing.net/2017/03/13/is-fearrde-tu.html


The Scottish version comes with some bloodied teeth to scatter around the floor for that extra hint of authenticity.


“I’d give that a thumbs up if my hand wasn’t broken.”


I’m envisioning something like those online room design websites. You enter the size of your room, (perhaps if you’ve registered for the site you can add water line locations and other concerns) and it will pop out three “custom” plans with order numbers.


They can make their pubs in whatever style they like, but it isn’t a real Irish pub until they have a lock in with bottles of home made poitín.


“pre-revolution” Chinese restaurants too


I’m not surprised about Russia. St Petersburg already had quite a few genuine British pubs due to its northern maritime heritage, and I can imagine the trend spreading from that cultural centre through these ersatz pubs.

And glass…


I always say they’re just as authentically Irish as this:


Well, not really.

But, according to Ballance, there’s a growing awareness that an Irish bar built “in three days with materials from Home Depot,” once it has the right operator and the right spirit (and even if plastered in top-o’-the-mornin’ imagery), can go toe-to-toe with any of those pubs that are painstakingly and lovingly assembled, at a multiple of the cost, with the help of companies like his, McNally’s, or Heverin’s.

Mssr. Ballance is saying that it’s more important for the bar to have the right operator and “spirit” than that it be built with Irish wood by Irish carpenters, but in fact he is not selling a cut-rate or Home Depot based product.

And the Irish Pub 2.0 reference is to the food, I believe. Tweely named non-Irish foods rather than kolcannon and sheperd’s pie.


MacGregor the goatfucker sold separately.

Go home, late stage capitalism. You’re drunk.




There used to be an Irish pub in Port-au-Prince that was doing quite well for a while selling Guinness imported from Ireland (instead of the Guinness brewed in country which tastes different). It has since closed down.


I raise you an Irisch Moos.


Ah come on, I’ve been to countless Scottish pubs. The worst thing are the edm covers of either Santana or Coldplay.


“I’ve built more than 500 Irish Pubs, but do they call me MacGregor the pub builder? Noooo…”


Ah, but were they true Scottish pubs?


I spy, with my little eye, a brainspore getting glassed :grinning:


Fado in DC has an interesting interior for an Irish pub. It’s like a Disney version of an Irish pub with cobblestone “steets” and “buildings” such as a stone cottage inside the pub.


Fine Print: Blood, vomit, saliva, and stale beer not included. Stale cigarette smell, stains, and random burn marks provided for additional fee.


Ah the sort of Irish Pub where I can get those rare Irish delicacies. The quesadilla and buffalo wings.

Meanwhile this sort of thing always reminds me that there’s a street up near Penn Station in NYC that has 4 Irish Pubs right next to each other. There is the dirty one that’s always empty, the bog standard one, the run down one where actual Irish and British people watch “football”, And the fancy expensive one. I end up on that run from time to time because any one of those bars are a decent place meet people coming to town by train. You just sort of wander over and pick the one with the appropriate number of seats open. It’s always weird figuring out where the people you’re meeting are though.

“I’m in the Irish Bar”

“Which one?”

“There’s more than one?”

“Describe it to me.”

“It smells kind of funny”

We’re down to two options.

“Is the guy sitting nearest to you American?”


“That’d be the shitty one then.”