Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2020/11/21/just-be-thankful-youre-not-a-medieval-penis-investigator.html
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Bumblebees?
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This makes medieval England sound less repressive than the earlier environment in France, considering Abélard and Héloïse. Still, the pendulum always swings back. 
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Stripey and furry.
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Multiple poems from the time feature women gathering in groups over copious amounts of alcohol and complaining about their impotent husbands, comparing their flaccid penises to maggots, snails and bumblebees.
“Bumblebees are cute!”
“I didn’t say it wasn’t cute, but it’s still small and impotent.”
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“He’s got no faloorum, he’s lost his ding doorum”
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Sounds like medieval couples trying to spice up their sex lives and getting a court order to do it. Genius.
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But if a man is the witness,does lack of arousal mean impotence or disinterest in men?
Likewise, arousal might not mean he’s faking impotence, but that he enjoys men rather than women. A divorce, but for different reasons.
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I’m just thankful I’m not a penis investigator, period. Male hygiene standards do not leave me brimming with confidence.
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Downside is that if you get aroused you get executed for homosexuality.
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But really- I’m not interested in the job regardless of the era.
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Very much this. Dear god.
…You’d never eat cheese again, for sure.
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ale and tasty snacks …
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Several replies, and nobody yet made the obvious comment that it’s a hard life as a medieval penis investigator? Or is it a job for softies?
Also
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Do the ren fests know about this yet?
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Maybe because they die after one “sting”?
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