Kickstarting a film adaptation of "Dark Side of Disney" - guide to getting high, drunk & laid while on Disney vacation


Judge to Mickey: You want a divorce on the grounds Minnie is crazy?

Mickey to judge: No, your honor, I said she was fucking Goofy.


How to get drunk in Disney World: For Epcot buy the readily available alcohol all over the place. I highly recommend going during the Food and Wine fest. For Animal Kingdom buy the readily available alcohol. The bar in Harambe is pretty cool. Magic Kingdom is slightly more complex - go to resorts on the Monorail line, drink, then take the monorail to Magic Kingdom. Why is drinking in WDW even notable? It’s not like they are dry.

I don’t know where to score drugs in Orlando, but it’s just a city, anyone who is comfortable scoring drugs on vacation can sort that out. If you drive you can bring a stash. I suppose you could if you flew too, seems sketchy to me, but I’m old now and risk averse.

Sex in the parks - ew. Seriously, the place is full of kids. Get a room.

Cheap tickets - there are a million Disney OCD blogs/forums to find discounts, that is not a “dark side.”


You seem to have completely missed the tongue in cheek nature of this project.


get draven star on board and i am down.

Are you saying it’s not actually about getting drunk/stoned/laid at Disney World? I don’t see anything in the article or the video to support that.


From the video:

“None of the guidebooks that I bought had anything to do with how I wanted to experience Walt Disney World. I don’t have kids, I like to drink, I don’t like character meet’n’greets…”

Why the fuck are you going to Disney World then, dickshits? That’s like saying “I really love strip clubs, but I wish I could find one that didn’t have all those naked women.”


True. I still don’t see it.

I that one of the Suicide Girls?

I know a middle aged couple that claims to have sex while riding the monorail. Actually “riding the monorail” does sound kinda sexy.

I prefer “steaming off to the Grand Canyon and Primeval World”, but I’m old-fashioned that way.

If I’m gonna pay for anyone’s debauchery, it’s gonna be mine.

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