Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2018/07/02/kitteh-no-liek-snek.html
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“FFS, now I gotta deal wit dis?”
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“It’s a cucumber…that moves. Does not want.”
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Gotta spring that one on my Dear Wife tonight…
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*dies
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Kitty’s amazed that the package got through without any postage.
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deeply ingrained biological fear of snakes. it’s a cat thing. i get it, in this case. for that kitty, that snake is HUGE.
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Seriously?
You guys aren’t freaking out about this- There’s a snake in the room and you’re all acting nonchalant. A bug or a spider and you’re all with the yelling and the panic, but now here’s something that can actually kill you, and you crazy monkeys are just laughing it off?
Well, whaddaya expect from a species that let freakin’ wolves stay with them.
Okay, I’ll keep watching the slithery death machine and you can just carry on as usual.
I swear you’d all be dead a hundred times over if I wasn’t watching out for you, ya dumb can-openers.
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Look more closely at the cat: it’s not staring at the snake, it’s staring at its owner’s hands.
“Is he really filming this in portrait mode? Is my one YouTube monument going to be sandwiched between two enormous gray squares, like a digital dunce cap?”
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This video just screams for a deftly applied instance of the “dramatic chipmunk” music.
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For more poems like this, check out the subreddit “I Lik The Bred”
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Wrong.
“Kitteh” is not confused by “snek”.
He is obviously shocked by having to witness somebody shooting a vertical video.
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Its a cat. It is thinking, “How am I going to eat that?”
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That ‘deeply ingrained biological fear’ theory also explains why humans are so terrified of felidae, which were far more of a threat to their ancestors than the occasional snake or spidra.
You know snakes are really just tails with faces, right?
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I’ve seen plenty of cats kill snakes that big. They do it for fun.
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Plus, it is, apparently, a competitor for cardboard box rights; which are much cherished by cats everywhere. That’s serious business.
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Cat facial expression insights, courtesy of http://catsinternational.org/your-cats-tail-ear-and-eye-signals/ - This cat has forward pointing ears (confident) and dilated pupils (cautious). Not fraidy or stunned, just taking his job seriously. Good lad.
The defender’s ears will lie down flat against the head for protection. The cat whose ears are lying flat, but with a twist, so that the tips of the back of the ear can be seen from the front, is the aggressor. Forward-pointing ears are used by confident, curious, cats to listen for sounds in front of them. A cat that is hunting prey (or playing) will also keep its ears forward to collect as much auditory information as possible in order to execute a successful pounce.
In a standoff situation the defending cat’s pupils will be dilated to provide the cat with wider peripheral vision, an advantage in anticipating an attack. The aggressor’s pupils narrow to give him better depth perception, an advantage in judging where to attack.
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