Know anyone who spends way too long in the bathroom? The Toilet Timer can change that

Originally published at:

I am admittedly not a doctor, but I’m fairly confident that constipation potentially causes these issues. Constipation may also cause one to sit on the loo for more than five minutes, but the time spent sitting, in and of itself, does not cause these problems.

Can the Boingboingshop kindly resolve to be better about medical matters, goddammit?

Editors: Oh gee, what crawled up his ass?

All of post blurred because it’s just a wee bit gruesome. If you read the original boingboingshop post with no problem, this post is harmless.


My main rule with the kids is no computing devices in the bathroom. Also this:

Probably should have that rule (the computing device one, we reliably flush) with the adults as well, frankly…


If you need this timer, then I bet you aren’t getting enough fiber in your diet.


I can do better— this is purely mechanical. It still keeps time, you can lift it to get your coin back, it ticks so you don’t have to watch it and you know when time’s up when the flag changes (ka-chunk!). Just don’t ask where my brother got it, I don’t know! Built to last. Pretty sure it’s from the early 70s.


Try a bran muffin and wash your hands.

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Out of curiosity, how old are your kids? If they are teens, I’m wondering how you enforce this. I.e. what are the consequences of not following this rule?

I wonder how many people are reading this while on the toilet.


Well, this is ableist. Especially some of the comments. It’s clear who hasn’t had actual gastric medical problems.


I’ll take “Passive-Aggressive Gifts” for 100, Alex.


“bosses to others who need the facilities — probably wish those folks would hurry the hell up.”

What the hell is wrong with you?
I thought boingboing was anti-fascist surveillance state?
Amazon warehouses already give their employees a negative mark everytime they go to the bathroom as it is, and now you’re endorsing a TIMER?

No more than 40 seconds.
No more than 80 seconds.
We have sensors that can tell the difference.
There will be a dollar charge to that hour’s pay for each additional 5 seconds.
Handwashing, optional.

Enjoy your freedom of “movement”, citizen.


maybe i just never paid close attention to the boing boing store posts before, but lately they’re getting really bad. this might not be as likely to get people killed as some of those horribly inappropriate mask designs (vents? zippers? wtf?), but why help the potty police rule our rectums?

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I’ve had more than one job where spending an inappropriately long time in the loo was one way of ‘giving it to the man’. Somewhere there’s a website where you put in your wage, start a timer, and it’ll tell you how much you just got paid for that dump.


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