It’s viral marketing, and we fell for it.
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“Innocent lies parents tell their kids help alleviate the pressures of everyday parenting, and if it gets kids to eat their greens, so be it,” says Sergio Eleuterio BONEHEAD of Marketing for Kraft, “Simple innocent lies are not only part of parenthood, but a true tactic used by parents everywhere. Kraft Salad ‘Frosting’ is one lie you won’t feel bad telling your kids.”
He may know Kraft products… but as to children?!
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I think this type of thing is vital to childhood development.
How many of us here fell for the “X Ray” specs only to be disappointed, or bought “Sea Monkeys” and soon learned it was a lie, they do not play the pipe organ and do not even remotely look like their pictures.
And that submarine from the comic book that ‘shoots real missiles’…another lie.
Well, these things were important life lessons for children to learn in a capitalist consumer driven society.
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I can’t take credit for it and there’s a funny story about that.
Not long after 9/11 I was booked to go on a cruise sailing out of San Juan. There were a ton of cancellations after 9/11 from people not wanting to travel, so the cruise line tried to recoup some costs by giving deeply discounted rates to the Puerto Rican locals. As such the majority of the passengers were from PR so there was a lot of more people speaking Spanish than English. During a dinner, Puerto Rican couple at a neighboring table was asking about the ketchup condiment and the server called it Salsa Americana.
Some nearly 18 years later and that little exchange has managed to indelibly stick in my memory.
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From a company that found a way to remarket basic ketchup as “special” only after the filled what was normal ketchup with corn syrup, of course. You pay more for the non corn syrup “simply heinz” btw.
And for the record, Heinz can go fuck itself. They used to be an iconic brand of my city and now they make no products here at all. A bunch of Brazilians bought it along with Warren Buffett and they tanked morale there from shitty mismanagement and shitty corporate culture. I know a couple people who worked there at the transition and past, one of whom is family.
Heinz, you trashed my small slice of America that wasn’t fucked with until you sold out. Go die.
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Frankly it seems a little churlish to try to shame your sea monkeys just because they opted for the clarinet.
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Ranch, aka the herpes of salad dressing.
The only thing worse is wings with ranch dressing
It’s either nothing, or Blue cheese. Not the crappy Kraft kind either, big chunks of Blue Cheese.
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Lying to the kids, or finally admitting to grownups how much added sugar there is in everything?
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Texas “Salad Frosting” and “Everything Else Frosting”
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But isn’t ranch dressing MORE unhealthy than frosting? OK, it’s pretty close, trading fat for sugar, basically.
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It has been a long time since anyone has frosted my salad…
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Ye Gods Ranch is some awful stuff.
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Sorry, France is already ahead of you…
Sauce américaine is a recipe from classic French cookery containing chopped onions, tomatoes, white wine, brandy, salt, cayenne pepper, butter and fish stock. Wikipedia
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Hella no. Ranch at it’s best is off shoot for ‘green goddess’ dressing and blue cheese dressing for the masses.
It’s a basic dressing…and you should try making it from scratch with no packet.
Basically it’s Onion Powder, Garlic Powder, Dried Parsley, Thyme, Dried Dill And sour creme and mayo…with buttermilk. And lemon juice. We make up a mason jar of that every month or so. Tho the actual herbs change with the season and what’s fresh.
However the garlic and onion powder incorporate much better as dried.
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That “mother” has some flying monkeys hidden somewhere.
You have to wonder how that was pitched and got beyond a marketing department.
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Late stage frosted capitalism
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This.
To be fair, sugar adds to the taste. As does fat, of course.
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http://www.academiabarilla.it/ricette/cerca-ricette/salsa-americana.aspx
Ma la salsa americana è a base di brodo di pesce.
Salasa americana is made with fish broth. Is the same as Sauce américaine
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By the way what is wrong with salt, pepper, vinegar and olive oil?
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