Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2018/06/06/salad-cream-renamed.html
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They already make “Sandwich Spread”, which is ideal for anyone who’s ever wondered what a vomit sandwich would be like.
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It will still be disgusting no matter what they call it. Satan made it. Don’t ask me how.
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We don’t have this product here in the States, because the name sounds vaguely pornographic, and we oppose that.
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Heinz Satan’s Jizz probably failed to get past the focus groups.
It took me years to think of mayonnaise as edible, and even now I have a mild aversion to it, all thanks to my parents only using salad cream.
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Why’s it a bad thing for a sauce to be “homogeneous”? Surely a better slam would be “profoundly rancid”…
And why are you saying “entitled” when you mean “self-entitled”?
And-*gets pulled offstage by a shepherd’s crook*
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Heh, i’m pretty much the opposite.
Love salad cream*, i refer to mayonaise as “sub-standard salad cream” as it’s just a mostly flavourless ‘meh’ 
*As i do not like the taste of butter much, i often use it as a butter-replacement in sandwiches.
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I don’t think sandwich cream sounds as healthy as salad cream.
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Fluffernutter.
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Yes, yes, yes, yes.
Let’s focus on the real question here - should the Salad Cream be kept in the fridge or in the cupboard?
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No, it should not.
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I wouldn’t call it ‘cheap mayo substitute’ as they’re really nothing like each other.
Better would be:
‘1970s flavour condiment’ or
‘weird yellow ketchup’
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just call it Ketchup for Veg and be done with it
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How about “I Can’t Believe It’s Supposed To Be Mayonnaise”?
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It’s inaccurate to say they’re nothing like each other. They are actually very similar concoctions, with mostly the same ingredients: eggs, oil, vinegar, spices. The principal differences are that salad cream has water in it, and that the proportion of vinegar to oil is higher in salad cream.
In the English context, it’s mayonnaise that would be the 70s flavour condiment, as salad cream was introduced to the English market in 1914 and mayonnaise was introduced in 1961.
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It should be kept on a shelf.
In the shop.
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I know! Sell it as Sandwich Cream in the condiment aisle AND as Salad Cream in the salad dressing section. Same exact stuff.
Don’t tell me Heinz don’t have the peristaltic muscle to push that down on Asda/Tesco (or as we call them both “Assco”), what with all the beans they move.
And while they are at it, also sell it as Floor Cream, add some HFCS call it Dessert Cream, and so forth.
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I like salad cream.
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