Lance Armstrong says he would never cheat at golf





I can think of somewhere Lance Armstrong could stick his golf clubs.

Just fuck off, Lance.


Man I shaved strokes all the time off my golf scores. I sucked so, so badly…

I think I understand what he is saying, it probably feels pretty good to have a sense of accomplishment without it being diluted by negative feelings of cheating, lying, and intimidation.

But how he said it reminds me he is a competitive, A Type, sociopath that will likely cheat at golf when he gets the chance. It’s just in his nature to win and have no feelings of remorse on how he did it or who he hurt.


The disgraced cyclist, who admitted using performance-enhancing drugs on his way to seven Tour de France wins, says he is drawn to crying Wolf because of its deep code of honor.


I wonder whether the difference is that between being a professional and an amateur rather than the sport per se.

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I love adhering to a code of honor that we in cycling didn’t have.

But, since he was so good at cheating… he went with what he was naturally good at.


Ah, the ever-entertaining squirming of the exposed sociopath. This is the kind of person who would try to murder you, then when caught call it a misunderstanding. Anyway, it wasn’t his fault, it was cycling’s fault for being so dirty. Bad cycling, get away from me! I’m going to play golf.
We can at least be thankful that every time a high profile assclown like this is exposed the general level of public knowledge about the nature of sociopathic narcissism is increased.


I smell a caddyshack reboot!


Well, cycling was wide open doping since, well, forever, really. At least since Benzedrine hit the market. Lance was really good at it, and really good at riding. Sure, strip his tittle, but who should have any tittle from when ever they banned such things until today? Some sports, cheating is normal (say, Superbike in the 1970s in the USA, or do you think BMW made bikes with what looked like a stock exhaust, but had no muffler inside? It was said that if you could make a stock bike finish, you could protest your way to first place).

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It’s possible that he is expressing the intermediate position, that it feels pretty good to have a sense of accomplishment in an area where people assume that lying, cheating, and intimidation weren’t involved. (suckers!) Very pragmatic.


The guy has been – in terms of career, income, endorsements, public regard – about as disgraced as any athlete out there. I do not get the impulse to beat the guy when he’s down. He did everything he could to lie and cheat and (in lying and cheating) steal from the world. But he got caught and his life is as different as could be.

I don’t know about the rest of you, but when I’ve had a career set-back, I’ve had to do some soul searching to find a path forward. Some of that is in just dealing with what you might have done better, but the lion’s share of that is trying to strip down to the parts of you that are still the good parts of you and rebuild from a different foundation. Sure, the guy is – probably always will be – a world class prick. But I’ve always thought of the American concept of “the Pursuit of Happiness” to be, in effect, “The Right to Get Your Shit Back Together.” He’s trying. He’s got a long way to go. And if in telling himself that golf has rules that he needs to abide by, he can construct a falsework on which to rebuild a life, then I’ll let the man be.


I vaguely recall reading about one of the Tours de France in which the author proposed stripping accolades from a rather deep field–something like fifteen of the top twenty finishers that year–, as to punish Armstrong was to only scratch the surface of the doping problem.


How does one cheat at golf? Being athletic? Carrying one’s own equipment? Actually walking from one part of the manicured lawn to the next?

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No 1st, no 3rd, and 2nd, 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th, 9th all had subsequent suspensions.

ETA: that wasn’t even the worst one.

What he’s saying is that it wasn’t HIS fault he cheated. It was totally every one else’s fault. Everyone else was cheating, you see. He didn’t do anything wrong. They MADE him cheat.

That’s what he’s saying. He’s so full of shit.


“and his life is as different as could be.”

Uh, how? Exactly, how? He’s still playing sports, he’s still rich, he’s still making money. Seems like it’s pretty much the same. Oh boooooo hoooooh, rich guy gets caught cheating and now people don’t believe he won’t be a cheater forever. Waahaaaah.


How does one cheat at golf?

I know it was mostly a joke, but it made me realize there are lots of ways to cheat at golf. After all, the boss or client needs to win even if he’s incompetent. A little toss of the ball here or there, count shaving, tapping the ball into the cup as a gimme, dropping a new ball instead of actually finding one you hit… and of course mulligans are institutionalized cheating and there’s the equipment arms race for ‘legal’ but hardly honorable advantage. None of this matter when you’re just playing for fun and have beer. But the honor’s an illusion, especially if you’re Lance Armstrong.

C’mon, doping (and all the other performance enhancement technologies) is the most interesting part on the pro sports. Fascinating overlap of medicine, biochemistry, forensics, and several other fields, recently even including genetics.

Who ends up first in a given race is about the least interesting aspect.

So why all the brouhaha?