LEGO minifigs are satanic (or at least grumpy)


#1

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#2

Maybe he should start producing his own little comic pamphlets and hand them out at bus stops? I believe this is the preferred way of espousing the idea that that harmless pop culture is going to turn people satanic.


#3

I'm amazed the ghost never caused controversy. I think the ones that shipped removed the point making the a bit less clan like.


#4

Here's a Lego interpretation of the clearest genocide commanded by God in the Bible (via his spokesman Samuel).
1 Samuel 15:2-3. "So go now and attack the Amalekites. Put them under the curse of destruction. Kill the men, women, children, and babies, cattle, sheep, camels, and donkeys. Spare no one."

http://www.thebricktestament.com/king_saul/god_commands_amalekite_genocide/1s15_02-03.html

Sadly I can't find an interpretation in Lego of Psalm 137:9, "Happy is the one who seizes your infants and dashes them against the rocks."

That's what kids should be reading!


#5


#6

Oh, right, Amelek. I had forgotten about that.


#7

..and in another story, cameras really do steal your soul.

I'll just quote Dorn 1:33-34 "anger me at your own risk, for ye shall step on the 2x4 piece in the dark and wail upon me in pain, why hath you forsaken me of great one".

Tis true, I saw it on the interwebs.


#8

I can't find the link to The Onion. Is it some kind of mirror site?


#9

Does that werewolf have some sort of garden utensils in his hands?


#10

Man! Now that will surely turn you to evil.
Watching the smiling lego soldiers slaughter all those people. lego blood and all!
Oh the horror.. the horror!

seriously, awesome link


#11

he is not angry or satanic - just a happy gardener


#12

Caveat Emptor: The New Zeland article cites "Daily Telegraph UK", and The Telegraph website published this news on April 1st.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/poland/10736999/Lego-is-a-tool-of-Satan-warns-Polish-priest.html

Not saying it's an April Fools, but it really sounds so good it has to be fake.


#13

In high school a friend of mine drew comics. One of them was a one-panel with the caption "Blergh and Gryph, friendly aliens from planet Kam Koza Ke, began to realize landing in the middle of the Martin Luther King Jr. march was not a good idea."

Let's just say that Lego's ghost minifigs bear a striking resemblance to Blergh and Gryph.


#14

Hokey religions and ancient dogma are no match for a good lego.


#15

If you want to know about "the dark side" and how children come to enter that godforsaken place, ask a child who was molested by his parish priest.


#16

But isn't it true that "the faces of LEGO figures have become angrier over the years"? Granted, every single one of them used to be smiling pleasantly and even the slightest deviation from that norm would constitute a shift towards "angrier". And there's no shortage of folks who seem to believe that LEGO just isn't what it used to be.


#17

Those of us who are over 40 may remember that even the happy smiley Lego people are relatively new -- from the late 1970s. Before that they were faceless (and without movable arms and legs). See here for a picture of what Lego people were like when I was a child.


#18

i swear, don't these people have some sick or poor to help? oh right -- that would actually be productive, and generate less press coverage.


#19

Obviously the deviations from the norm are a menace that must be stopped.


#20

Maybe that's why you don't hear about it then.