Let the boys of Marvel teach you how to apologize (and how not to)


#1

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#2

This should be required reading for politicians, who use the non-apology all the time…


#3

I do so loathe the nonpology.


#4

I guess that’s why one is Captain America and the other is the Black Widow’s sidekick…


#5

I’m so glad that no mater how hard people are trying this story is getting little to no traction outside the usual complainers.


#6

Yeah! Calling women sluts and whores because they have have complicated love lives is awesome! I’m so glad people like you are standing up for these poor, oppressed, rich, white dudes.


#7

Fucking Grumpy Cat, why am I not surprised that he fails to understand the need to apologize.


#8

I wish I could like you more than once for this.


#9

It’s kind of textbook Goofus and Gallant here :
“Gallant takes responsibility and apologizes for his own mistakes. Goofus pushes the responsibility for the effects of his mistakes onto other people.”


#10

Are there PR people who teach this non apology to celebrities and politicians? Because I don’t know anyone in my personal life who apologizes like that. They either don’t apologize at all with a “oh lighten up, it was just a joke” (which is better than the non apology in my opinion), or they really apologize with a “I’m sorry, you’re right. I shouldn’t have said that.” I’ve always wondered why so many public figures do the non apology.


#11

It seems to me like they feel a social or professional obligation to apologize, but they don’t actually believe they did anything wrong. So they say the empty words and consider their obligation discharged.

If they actually change their behavior in the future it’s not out of compassion or respect, but because having to apologize again would be a pain in the ass.

(“it’s just a joke” gets pretty damned tiring too when the joke was punching down and you’ve heard it a million times before. It’s the equivalent of saying that one’s own right to have a little “harmless fun” is more important and valid than the other person’s feelings. I suppose it’s a slightly more honest form of assholery than a non-apology, but it’s still assholery.)


#12

[quote=“CarolineSiede, post:1, topic:56097”]“Just poking fun during an exhausting and tedious press tour.”[/quote]I would prefer to think that said press tour has dragged on so long that they are no longer entirely sure of what they are saying, and that studios should see this as a warning not to flog actors on tour too hard – Hanlon’s razor and all that. But on the other hand, press tours happen all the time without people saying anything quite so stupid and there is no data as to whether this one is any more strenuous than average.


#13

A one-off in the middle of a marathon press junket is hardly a scandal. Perspective.


#14

Isn’t this getting to be a bit of a habit with Renner after his Globes joke with Jennifer Lopez?


#15

I’d rather that they liberate people of any sex from outdated sexual mores. Promiscuity is a perfectly legitimate choice, and even a virtue to many. Backtracking to say that it warrants apology rather than acceptance is culturally regressive and only serves the forces of sexual repression.

I agree that when apologies are warranted, they should be done with sincerity. And that people should not recant and apologize simply on the basis of others finding their statements disagreeable, because this makes honest cultural dialog impossible. But that said, the apologies here amount to self-censorship which panders to the shaming of women’s sexuality, rather than the embracing of it.

Comrade-lovers: for your health’s sake, fuck freely!


#16

Bros before superheroes, evidently.


#17

In a world where apparently there are five men to every woman, it doesn’t make a lot of sense to get huffy about a woman having more than one lover over the course of her life.

Also, it seems like there’s a good reason Widow’s not involved with Hawkeye any more.


#18

Also waiting on that apology from Tony Stark for arming, enabling, or straight-up creating almost every villain in the Marvel Cinematic Universe to date.


#19

Besides the people who don’t think they’ve done anything wrong (or just on general principle don’t want to admit to doing wrong because they think it makes them look weak), there are also those who don’t want to offend the people who actually agreed with what they said. I notice a lot of conservative politicians doing this when they’ve said something racist/sexist/homophobic. They believe in what they said, or at least know that some of their supporters do.


#20

I always suspected that it was PR people (and possibly lawyers) teaching them how to apologize in a manner that admits no wrong doing.