Lettuce attack leads to charges

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I fought the slaw, and the slaw won.

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Lettuce not forget this this type of tragedy happens everywhere!

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Okay, right now we really need an ‘unlike’ button…and I’m pushin’ it twice.

Twice.

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The only thing that stops a bad guy with a lettuce is a good guy with a lettuce.

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I’m just glad nobody got kaled.

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Is his name Zontar?

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Being on the receiving end of that kind of violence can leave you chard for life.

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You don’t have to like these puns, but you could at least be nicoise about it.

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She was obviously not properly trained in how to defend herself…

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The shooter is now in custody.

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Nothing to say actually, endive got to go now.

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Could have been worse.

The severity of this sentence suggests that his remark that he threw an iceberg at her got misinterpreted.

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Gaaaaaaah!!!

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This is a salad situation for everyone involved. We can only hope that the attacker turns over a new leaf and romaines a law-abiding person.

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Je vinaigrette rien!

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So this is how Beschizza earns his celery.

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He tossed his mother’s salad. Yeah, that doesn’t sound creepy at all.

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It’s not rocket science.

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