Life Under President Trump


Originally published at:
Tom the Dancing Bug, IN WHICH the Smythe family of Chagrin Falls, USA, living under President Trump, can’t stop winning!


Life under President Trump.

Let the sound of that soak in for a bit.

…On the bright side, it might mean the Dead Kennedys get back together.


I guess that would have been me in first period science class not standing for the pledge, but under Trump I would have been taken away and not just threatened with getting beaten up.

Which would have saved everyone from having to read a lot of sarcastic comments later on the internet.


I can’t believe there’d be a draft under President Trump. There wouldn’t need to be. Going into the military would just be the only available career for poor people.


Service Guarantees Citizenship… well, Second Class Citizenship… Third at worst.


You forgot a “mandatory” in there.


If anything, Ruben’s comic didn’t go far enough.


“Poor people” being, well, everyone.


We’ve already had a president go to war to avenge a threat on his father like some not-shinola Inigo Montoya along the lines of, “You threatened by father, prepare to lead us into a decade long war and recession!”

So the First Tweets War and the Worldstar Rebellion can’t be far behind.


Given the last time the other members of the band toured (without Jello, I mean) they were pretty pro-Bush, I’m gonna guess no. Jello is something of a hard ass about his politics.


It’s funny because the reality is likely to be even more horrible!



I used to stand, but with my hands at my side and I said nothing.


These tweets… they start hilarious and spin horribly into a dumpster fire quickly.


I read that as WordStar Rebellion and started imagining the overthrow of bloated GUIs and slow-to-render WYSIWYG to bring back good old-fashioned fast editing. Sooner or later it’ll happen…


This whole “pledge of allegiance” thing. Is it real, or just something in films? Do US kids actually have to read it out at school?
Is that not all a little creepy?


Not even remotely creepy…


To be forever known as Tweet War I, Tweet War II…


I went to a Baptist school as a kid, and first thing after the morning bell, we’d stand and say the POA, and then we’d turn to the only other flag in the room, and sing “Onward Christian Solder”. As that was a few decades ago, I would not expect that to be the norm.

Also, a quick note to Dean Ferguson of that Baptist school: Maybe go drink some drain cleaner and then throw yourself off a bridge, you fucken tool.

For the full weirdness, though, it used to be that movie theaters on U.S. military bases would play the National Anthem (along with inspiring images of 'Merican jets flying, Marines doin [whatever], USN ships racing through the sea, etc.) prior to showing the movie. All of which struck me as more than a little strange.


We never did, but I went to a hippie elementary school and a nerd high school so my experience is not typical.