Listen to a group of panicked folks call the police on a gentle whale near their boat


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When stupid comes to town, it really comes with a parade of numpties.


I really need to know more about these people.


What exactly will 911 do?

“Relax, ma’am, we’re sending a whaling vessel to harpoon them.”


Dunno, but i’m working on a theme song.

Bad buoys, bad buoys watcha gonna do?
Whatcha gonna do when they come for you?


Mama whale: Now you see son, these are humans. They are very naughty, but not very bright.
Son whale: Can I eat them?
Mama whale: No. They are too full of toxins.
Son whale: So what good are they?
Mama whale: Apparently, only for the destruction of our habitat.
Son whale: Should we kill them?
Mama whale: Probably.


Whale, that escalated quickly.


When you’re afraid the whales might tip the boat, calling someone to give your last known position is actually not a stupid idea. The police can contact the coast guard or a local life guard. It’s an overreaction sure.
I’m more concerned about the stoner filming it all. “Who cares if the boat get’s ripped apart?”


That poor man.

His rotten family probably spent the rest of their vacation hunkered down in their hotel room binge-watching NCIS reruns. :confused:


How do you avoid the temptation to jump in the water and give em the old, “he’s got me! He’s got meeeee!!!”


My favorite part is where the caller informs the 911 operator that three grey whales are underneath the boat, and another passenger makes sure she corrects it to humpback. So the police can put out the proper APB, apparently?


Are you allowed to fire your family?

Because I’d seriously want new ones if I were that guy


Yeah, crank up the spinning blade of death when you’re sitting right on top of a couple of humpbacks (at least one of which appears to be a juvenile). Smooth move, jackasses. And probably a violation of the Marine Mammal Protection Act.


Damn right! We need to call the cops on mother nature! LOCK HER UP



What we gotta do is build a wall in Puget Sound to keep out those whales. They come here, they get underneath our boats, they eat all our plankton, and they’re all big and scary… I mean, we can safely assume some of them are very fine whales of course, but if we don’t make the Sound safe for krill and weekend boaters, how can we call ourselves a nation of laws?

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Well, to be fair, the whale does have very dark skin.




Stop and frisk the whales…



The whale said…“Hey, white folks…how do you like it when someone fucks with you when you were minding your own business.”

Also: the boat captain or guide…a little too excited about this experience. The “squeeee its foillowing us.” was a tad creepy.