Look at this incredibly over-the-top unveiling for Staples new logo

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2019/09/18/look-at-this-incredibly-over-t.html

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Some slow AIs have a lot of extra time and money on their (Invisible) hands, apparently.

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My arousal levels are through the roof.

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So they’re moving into making soccer goalposts. OK got it.

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I once walked into a Staples and I needed staples. They were out. The manager was at the checkout counter. I commented on the irony. He had no sense of humor. I asked if he would staple the receipt to whatever else I was buying for work. He used tape. That store is closed now. That’s my over the top Staples story.

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They have to justify the doubtless mind-boggling amount of money they paid on consultants to design that thing.

Kind of like how the odds of a standing ovation at a theatre go way, way up in direct proportion to the amount of money people paid for their tickets.

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I think we are at peak “generic epic music”. We’ve probably been there for a while, but it’s getting to be excruciating.

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Came expecting a banana, leaving disappoint.

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Free lunch, free tshirt, maybe a new coffee cup. Now back to work.

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Some deep-level navel-gazing.

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Now I understand why a box of envelopes at Staples costs $27.

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The most telling thing is when you hear the audience laughing.

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Paging @frauenfelder!

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stables

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Seems they hired Johnny.

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I’ve created animations for events like this before… Let me tell you, stock music is a hell of a drug.

It’s amazing how much these companies will spend on “internal communication.” One time for an event for a medium-sized company I was tasked with creating a supercut of the speed racer cartoon set to a parody version of Cake’s “the distance” that they specially commissioned just for a single event. This is why the most important job of the marketing department is selling itself to their own company. Gotta keep the gravy train rolling.

Makes me kinda miss Steve Balmer [shudders]:

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IN A WORLD where the staple is no longer bent…

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dope

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Clearly you don’t understand how one gets on “the list”.

This ain’t gonna do it.

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One. That is one staple. Singular. They should be called Staple.

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