Trying to promote workplace safety requires thinking of people as part of a system. But we can’t deal with an individual who chose to do things that harmed other people as a workplace safety issue after the fact. Taking a workplace safety approach to figuring out how to minimize this kind of behaviour makes sense. Looking at an individual incident as anything other than a person making that decision unreasonably absolves that person.
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John Mulaney is great, but given the major underlying issue of women comics not being taken seriously as people, I feel it would have been even better to have had someone like Sasheer Zamata (if you haven’t listened to Pizza Mind, I highly recommend it) or Aparla Nancherla.
Scheduling conflicts and all, but I think it would have been an important message to send.
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Nope. Nothing to do with me. @jlw deals with ads, or you can email badad@boingboing.net as well.
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Please email ads@boingboing or badad@boingboing.net
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On the standard measure of “how would I feel if an inmate twice my size said this to me in prison” scale, I honestly put the masturbation thing somewhere between “amusing” and “creepy and weird”, but not anywhere near “threatening”. That’s just me. I’m much more bothered, for example, by the story of him shoving someone into a bathroom- That crosses a line in my book.
As such, I’m inclined to accept the apology as adequate. I would be far less forgiving if it came from say, Roy Moore or Harvey Weinstein, who would require something far beyond this. Basically,I just see a sizable gap between “creep” and “predator”, and I think the apology is sufficient relative to the offense.
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You would find man twice your size masturbating while staring at you in a closed space amusing and non-threatening?
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Based on the various forms of abuse and assault I’ve been subject to in my lifetime, yes. The lack of physical contact or active participation puts it pretty low on my personal scale.
Your mileage may vary.
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So, women shouldn’t find this threatening, because you don’t?
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Forcing someone to watch you masturbate is most certainly an active threat. Women in that position don’t know what will happen, or if the man intends to rape or attack next. It is humilating and frightening to their victims, not some joke or weird quirk.
“Exhibitionists purposefully look to shock their victims because they are angry. They are not looking to make friends or go on a date — these are acts of revenge against women. These men are imposing the body part that is most threatening to a female and in doing so, they are acting out what is called “sexualized hostility” or “eroticized rage” against their prey. That look of fear or humiliation on women is arousing to them. We see clinically that these men feel wildly inadequate.”
What are the psychological motivations behind it?
I don’t know what it’s like to hold a penis and do that. But from what I know about men, it does make them feel powerful. He’s got his prey in the corner, which provides a kind of a gratification. There’s also something inherently really primitive and childish about forcing a woman to watch you masturbate. It’s almost like “Look at me.” And there’s the possibility that he feels wanted, as disordered as that might sound. He might feel like she’s here and she’s seeing me and she wants me. But the fact that she’s also scared and humiliated makes him feel powerful and aroused. There is a sense of power, plus a hostile revenge. That combination is what creates the high for this particular act."
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Like I said, your mileage may vary. I’m threatened and triggered by all kinds of things that you probably wouldn’t even think to recognize. That’s not to diminish anyone’s personal experience, but if we were to put things into quantifiable, definitive terms, I think “felt uncomfortable” ranks lower than “told I could be replaced” or “physical contact”.
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Honestly, how you and I feel is entirely irrelevant. It’s how the women in the situation felt, and it’s pretty clear that the power dynamics involved made them feel threatened. Just because you THINK you wouldn’t feel the same doesn’t mean that the women DIDN’T feel that way. So I guess I’m unsure why you mentioned how you think yuou’d feel in the first place.
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That’s a good point. I agree.
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You are diminishing the victims’ personal experience (and countless other examples of victims of the same offense unrelated to this incident), by suggesting that your imagined reaction of “felt uncomfortable” is as credible as that of the actual victims’ feelings of fear, shame, and humiliation.
What he did was unmitigated harassment and abuse.
Weinstein did the same thing to some of the victims he didn’t touch- the actions of both men eminate from from the same desire to dominate women who could be intimidated by them.
Edit: choice of words
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Future generations will find this archive of mansplained sexual assault by turns appalling and hilarious.
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I sure hope so, because history is not on the side of women as it currently stands.
R.I.P. Hypatia of Alexandria, et al.
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Sorry, but WTF?
It’s not like that would be proceeds of crime or anything. You can’t just start ignoring property rights, due process, and all that jazz just because someone’s name is mud.
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“he just launched a new batch of material”
Ewwww!
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wow, his apology is amazing. This is so tragic because he’s really IS a talented person. I hope he AND the ladies involved can recover from this.
I’m suddenly realizing that Mulaney looks like a Property Brother… I wish I hadn’t realized that.
Had to look that up. Maybe a little, but not closely to my eye.
