Man abandons wife after she births their fifth set of twins

Originally published at: Man abandons wife after she births their fifth set of twins | Boing Boing


It takes two to make babies, mister; get back in there and help out.


Gloria became a global news story after her husband ended their marriage because the couple welcomed their fifth set of twins.

To be pedantic, the couple didn’t “welcome their fifth set of twins.” Mom may have welcomed them, but Dad was a shit and fled the scene.


If he was that concerned about it happening again there are all sorts of precautions he could have taken. But arseholes like that just run away when their bad decisions result in predictable outcomes.

I see this happened in Uganda, where American Xtianists have spent years pushing their poison. I wouldn’t be surprised to hear that this couple identifies as evangelical.


This is one reason I never had kids. I know a lot of women do the single mother thing, but I also know that I couldn’t. I didn’t want to take the chance of being abandoned with another human to take care of.


A lot of my coworkers are single mothers, and I am continually in awe of their strength and capacity. I am barely able to handle parenting with a partner.


No way; not when they’re into double digits. There’s a nine-kid limit; that’s totally standard.

edit: /s


Four sets of twins is probably more than enough children, in my opinion.

I had nine siblings, myself, and my parents struggled to provide for all of us. But our religion being what it was, contraception wasn’t even considered. Family planning was non-existant.

Three or four children is plenty, considering the current population. I am doing my part by not having any.


Are we doing this again?

While there’s a weak correlation between global warming and population growth, there’s a strong correlation between global warming and wealth. I’ve been taking a look at a few superyachts, as I’ll need somewhere to entertain Labour ministers in the style to which they’re accustomed. First I went through the plans for Royal Falcon Fleet’s RFF135, but when I discovered that it burns only 750 litres of fuel per hour(5) I realised that it wasn’t going to impress Lord Mandelson. I might raise half an eyebrow in Brighton with the Overmarine Mangusta 105, which sucks up 850 l/hr(6). But the raft that’s really caught my eye is made by Wally Yachts in Monaco. The WallyPower 118 (which gives total wallies a sensation of power) consumes 3400 l/hr when travelling at 60 knots(7). That’s nearly one litre per second. Another way of putting it is 31 litres per kilometre.

Of course to make a real splash I’ll have to shell out on teak and mahogany fittings, carry a few jet skis and a mini-submarine, ferry my guests to the marina by private plane and helicopter, offer them bluefin tuna sushi and beluga caviar and drive the beast so fast that I mash up half the marine life of the Mediterranean. As the owner of one of these yachts I’ll do more damage to the biosphere in ten minutes than most Africans inflict in a lifetime. Now we’re burning, baby.


So, having less children is still ok, though?


After the second set if you don’t get a vasectomy, I don’t know what you’re thinking

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Do as you please, but it makes little difference to the worlds problems.


I feel that way about pretty much every aspect of my life, of little consequence all round.

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Poverty is not a virtue to celebrate. I like to be able to travel. How many people could the world support at the same median income as Europe?


This is not a story about population growth or people’s personal procreational decisions or median incomes. This is a story (another one) about women being left in the lurch as if it’s all our fault when we get pregnant, regardless of circumstances or family customs that lead to those pregnancies.
The husband is an asshole and a loser and it sucks that he gets to just cut and run. Period.
If men were forced to face even half the responsibilities of pregnancies as women are, it would be a different conversation. And a better world.


Neither is ecofascism. I gave the solutions that would make the world a better place, as I have done whenever this comes up.

Work towards that instead of telling people in the developing world what to do, especially when your travelling may be doing more damage than they ever will.

For the record, I have no children and can never have any. Maybe it’s because of this I take being pro-choice seriously.


Gotta admit, absence makes a sixth set of twins grow less probable, if he can pull it off. This is a fork-often task deployment policy and I can only gratingly approve of it…okay, or -go to Ghana and try the 11+ family dating scene.- [Craves laughter.]


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