Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2024/07/23/man-charged-after-decapitating-seagull-that-ate-daughters-fries.html
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When this has happened to me, I responded by feeding the bird more fries, and the whole family enjoyed watching the birds gobble them up. It led to a fun family memory (and a higher cholesterol level for the bird).
I can’t imagine reacting to this situation with such extreme violence. That must have been quite traumatizing for the daughter.
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Well there’s your problem right there. That’s Trump country.
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Seagull? No way.
Now those freakishly scary Canadian Geese? Those things would definitely elicit violence from me! (Though, to be fair, they’d have a good chance of winning said fight!)
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You gonna throw down with geese? So long, been nice to know ye…
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I tried to feed a duck a french fry at Sea World once – it kept going when it reached my finger. chompchompchompchompchomp
my dad laughed and said that’s why you don’t get close to wild animals, threw a fry in the opposite direction and had us walk quickly away while it was distracted.
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The skua at McMurdo station love to steal food. And they are also protected, so waving them off is as far as you can go. They have come right into the kitchens to see if there are any tasty bites around.
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Oh yes. Definitely yes. Canada Geese are damn tasty.
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Are seagulls specifically protected in any way; or is this just one of those instances where a guy who freaks out over his daughter’s fry’s honor and then gets into an unrelated cop fight is perhaps not temperamentally equipped to be a good provider of humane avian euthanasia?
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even if gulls are not statutorially protected, animal cruelty laws apply. ringing the bird’s neck in front of his daughter and others like this, constitutes that cruelty enough to stick.
similarly, we have invasive iguana here in the keys that are to be eradicated as per FWC regulation (we do not do this at our home). however, one can not hunt them on other people’s property, or despatch those in your own garden with any form of cruelty.
also, with all the waterfront dining establishments in the islands, there is a strict “do not feed the seagulls, pelican, or other birds/lizards” policy in those places.
they are not exactly protected by law (with possible exception of the pelican), but one would be dealt with by law enforcement if they were to attempt killing them.
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Stories like this make me recall the time I was mugged by a seagull. Now I’ve had food stolen from me before, but that’s usually been something sitting on a table. Not this time.
It was a few years ago in San Francisco. We had just moved away from the East Bay the prior summer, but I was tagging along with my wife who was on a work trip and I decided to be a tourist for the day. I ended up around Fisherman’s Wharf at lunchtime and decided to get a hotdog from a street cart. I had bought my dog, put relish and ketchup on it, and was taking a bite as I crossed the street.
All of the sudden I hear a squawk a lot louder and a lot closer than any of the other birds. This seagull swoops down from behind me and body-slams into me. I drop my hotdog, the seagull drops straight down like it was some kind of helicopter, it grabs the hotdog and the bun and takes off again. This all happens in approximately one and a half seconds.
I’m standing there in the middle of the street, stunned. I look around and see a city bus letting off passengers about thirty feet away. Nobody else is reacting to what happened, like this is a typical sight down by the docks.
To this day I wonder if the cameras on the bus recorded my being mugged by a seagull, and if I ended up on some kind of municipal transit blooper reel
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I will be greatly disappointed if his girlfriend remains his girlfriend.
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One day you’re wringing a seagull’s neck.
The next day you’re shooting your puppy.
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Yes indeed - (pretty much all wild birds in the U.S. and Canada are, at least those considered “native” as well a few others) under the Migratory Bird Treaty Act of 1918. There’s a spreadsheet in the link listing all the species, and it includes the various gulls.
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If I ever start the definitive Black Metal Piratecore Sea Shanty group, Decapitating Seagull will deffo be on the shortlist for band names.
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Happens all the time down the shore. A sea gull once stole chicken right off the hot grill. We kids loved it!
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Yup, we learned the hard way after moving to a city on the coast, when grilling at the beach one does not put the sausages on and then go hang out at the picnic table to do other things or socialize.
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I’m sorry.
I’m so sorry.
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Why not just pluck it and put it on the barbecue?
Like, don’t kill it unless you’re gonna eat it.
My son and his girlfriend had just walked out of a chippie on Brighton Beach promenade when a seagull divebombed and stole half the fish they just bought.
My encounter was a bit further afield - and a bit weirder.
I was on Enoshima (island peninsula south of Tokyo), trying the interesting “apple & camembert” softserve ice cream. Delish.
At the counter, they helpfully pointed out a warning sign, mentioning kites or hawks, and cautioning that they were ‘looking to steal your food!’. Wasn’t going to be outwitted by a birdbrain, no sirree.
The apple + camembert was really nice, good combination of sweet fruit and creamy cheese (not an overpowering blue cheese flavour). Parked myself by a railing right next to a palm tree, figured the birds wouldn’t risk flying that close. Had finished most of the ice cream above the top edge of the cone, when I heard a whooshing noise and a powerful downdraft of air hit my head – and the whole top section of the cone disappeared, carried away in the beak of a big bugger, must have been a metre wingspan easy.
Looking around, he must have made a pinpoint bombing raid, dropping low between palm trees behind me – most impressive. Had to admire my winged bandit.
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