Man crushed by trash compactor while looking for cell phone


Originally published at:


Dammit, Threepio.


Phone on subway tracks?

Ask for help.

Phone fell (somehow) into a transformer box?

Take down the phone number on the box and ask for help.

Phone fell into an escalator or elevator crack?

Just ask for help.

Assuming that we’re going to continue using machinery to make our lives easier as a society, people need to learn a healthly respect for it. (This includes cars.)


Oh shit! But… whyyyy? I mean phones are expensive but you can buy a low quality super cheap one to use for a while. It sure isn’t worth anyone dying over. Plus couldn’t you just contact the building owners or ask who is in charge of maintaining the trash chutes so they could, you know, take a look without anyone getting injured by i? Poor fool but seriously, value your life!


The stupid shit we’ll do to try to get out of the friendzone…



There’s no shortage of dumb ways to die, and this is one of them. Hopefully he pulls through.

I wonder if the marketing teams for the various phone manufacturers are trying to find out the brand of the phone so they can turn it into a commercial?


Didn’t work for Luke either.


It could be worse …


Had to be an iPhone.


Seriously though, why was the bit about the “female friend” included? “A friend’s phone” (or just “a phone”) seems like it tells the whole story, unless we are supposed to infer something about the gender. “Impressing a chick” was my first guess as well, but it could also mean: dumb girl who dropped her phone (/s), woman too scared to perform this heroic deed (/s), something else? Odd inclusion, for sure.


I suspect that the fault was in aggressive risk discounting rather than over-valuing the phone.

Even if all injuries healed without lingering damage, which they don’t, this is America: you don’t have to get hurt very hard to make just buying a new phone the cheaper option(and even the most depraved Telco will be more pleasant to deal with that your insurer).

However, if you are an enthusiastic 20-something who probably didn’t fully believe in the breadth and depth of the world’s negative outcome supply, it’s not such an unreasonable thing to attempt.


An Android could have just shut down all the garbage mashers on the detention level, right?


What, no video?

I apologize; I couldn’t help it. I hope the guy has a good recovery.


Thanks for the nightmares.


I read you!


This is why whenever I drop my phone I just walk away.

It’s not worth the risk.

Even if it’s in the kitchen.


The condition of the phone is unknown.

Forget it. It’s trash.


Three humans of indeterminate gender, religion, and profession convey themselves into a commercial establishment… have you heard this one before? It’s hilarious.


Jokes are inherently patriarchal and therefore not funny.