Man grabs live rattlesnake at his kid's party and tries to pose with it but it bites him in the face


#21

Same goes for the snake.


#22

C’mon natural selection!! Do your stuff!!


#23

I feel sorry for this kid who has to live with the fact that his/her father made a complete idiot out of himself in front of a bunch of peers! I wouldn’t want my kid going back to this nut jobs house cause who knows what else the dumb shit may do. I also feel sorry for the snake and whoever has to foot the bill for the treatment. As far as the idiot himself Meh…


#24

Fun Sponge alert.


#25

Turns out the snake was fine with the selfie until it disapproved of the Snapchat filter.


#26

I cannot suck anyone’s face whom I’m not engaged to.

image


#27

Is that a question?


#28

Also do not attach spark plug wires to your lip:


Somewhere I still have one of the old Cutter snakebite kits, no longer recommended.

Apparently now they are sex toys. (Link NSFW, cartoon porn.)


#29

From “Last Chance to See” by Douglas Adams (interviewing Struan Sutherland, Australian toxinologist)

‘So what do we do if we get bitten by something deadly, then?’ I asked.
He blinked at me as if I were stupid.

‘Well what do you think you do?’ he said. ‘You die of course. That’s what deadly means.’

‘But what about cutting open the wound and sucking out the poison?’ I asked.

‘Rather you than me,’ he said. ‘I wouldn’t want a mouthful of poison. all the blood vessels beneath the tongue are very close to the surface so the poison goes straight into the bloodstream…


#30

OK, then just cut the large V and see what happens.


#31

Let’s not go…

image


#32

Poor form - he forgot to ask someone to hold his beer first.


#33

And like most of Trump’s supporters it’s only a matter of time before he screws it over too.


#34

Fortunately, because it wasn’t the first time he’d been bitten by a rattlesnake, he knew he was in extreme danger and got immediate help

Why am i not surprised


#35

Victor Pratt thought it would be a good idea to grab the snake and throw it on the BBQ.

I…


#36

Needless to say, the snake disagreed.


#37

I learned from Brendan Leonard once that something like 90% of rattlesnake bites are due to persistent, intentional bothering, and that of those, 86% of the individuals have a BAC over .1.


#38

When I see a news story of “human bothers snake, snake bites human” all of my sympathies are 100% with the snake. If you don’t want to get bitten by the snake? Don’t fuck with the snake. Stupid human.


#39

Arizona is really the florida of the southwest…


#40

Nah, you can swallow rattlesnake venom just fine without issue.

As long as you don’t have any open wounds along the way to your stomach, it won’t have any effect. It doesn’t do anything to your stomach, its proteins just get torn apart by enzymes like those of any other food item.

You’re not going to manage to suck much out of a wound though.