Man with mastication prothesis draws stares at fast food restaurant

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I once had a horrible dream where my bottom jaw popped out of my mouth, and I realized that I’d been so bad at dental hygiene that I’d had my jaw removed and replaced with a prosthesis. So I’m sitting there with a slimy prosthetic jaw bone in my hand and sagging lower jaw skin, and the thought of having to try and force it back in was nauseating and horrifying. Basically the apotheosis of my previous dreams about losing teeth.

Partly I was anxious that I wasn’t flossing enough, but there were probably a few other things. Anyway, long before I saw this:

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Ya, public mastication always seems to draw undue attention…

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Especially when you use a personal mastication device.

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That’s disgusting! Eating at Arby’s I mean.

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Man with mastication prosthesis draws stares at fast food restaurant

I saw “masterbation” prosthesis…

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I think something is wrong with your browser, I got a different video to you it seems.

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Mine is disguised as a hamburger.

Came here expecting to see comment along the lines of “Man wearing noisy ridiculous looking contraption on head while eating draws stares? It’s time to close the earth! Depopulate immediately!”

Was disappointed.

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Beeping? And nobody yelled “BOMB?”

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I mean, it’s no Google Glass.

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I wouldn’t really call this a prosthesis. If it helped him chew, then yeah, but it’s just tracking the movement of his jaw. It’s no more a prosthesis than a FitBit is (though much more cumbersome, I’d imagine).

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We still don’t have a word for pretending that you think it’s surprising that people stare at weird things you do.

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A BiteFit?

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Weirdly, at Arby’s, he might have gotten fewer stares for that.

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Right! That’s same same here.

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