The people of Kansas must have really weird looking penises.
Did anyone get a photo from the point in time when the formation supposedly resembled a giant penis? Because if yours looks like the NCC-1701 depicted in the screenshot above you should probably consult a urologist.
Now, the early days of space explorationâthatâs when aerospace engineers really knew how to build a giant phallic symbol.
Itâs not the best precision marching formation ever, but with the announcer saying itâs the Starship Enterprise and the band playing the Star Trek theme, I think youâd really want to see a penis there to see one. (Sort of like seeing Jesus in a cloud formation: you see what your heart most wants to see, realistic or not.)
I think youâd have to try really hard to see that as a penis. Looking at the plan for the formation, the decision to insert the banner in the main body distorted it somewhat.
This right here is proof that some people actively seek out crap to be offended about.
Iâve got about as dirty a mind as anyone, and all I saw was the Enterprise.
Sometimes the starship Enterprise is just the starship Enterprise.
Itâs not the penises themselves, so much as the nacelles.
That band is from my Alma Mater. True story.
I have to squint pretty hard to see the USS Enterprise or a giant penis.
Star Trekâs Enterprise or giant penis?
No wonder so many people donât believe in evolution in Kansas! Only God could make a penis shaped like that.
Iâm not sure why they decided to have the Enterprise fly into their rival mascotâs mouth, instead of just ramming it, but beyond that⌠itâs the Enterprise. Thatâs the least penisy-looking penis outline Iâve seen in awhile, and Iâm a connoisseur of penis outlines.
All marching (and especially the non-marching âscatterâ) bands will get accused of putting penises on the field sooner or later. Some scatter band examples:
Yale: âAfter erecting a unique version of the Berlin wall during The Game on Saturdayâand tearing it down with a missile evoking a phallusâmembers of the Yale Precision Marching Band have found themselves in administrative trouble.â
Princeton: ââŚsome [at the Citadel] also found the halftime show objectionable because âitâs quite possible that this formation they made was quite possibly a penis⌠My friend told me that the people that kept running out of the top of it was supposed to represent the penis ejaculating,â he explained.â
[Personal note: one Princeton alumnus I know swears he saw a halftime show in the 1970s where the band did in fact make a flaccid penis that grew erect during the course of the song, which climaxed with a fire extinguisher being sprayed at the tip.]
Columbia: âThe athletic department is always paranoid that the band will claim to form some G-rated long object, only to coalesce into a throbbing cock instead. To be clear, this fear is completely unfounded. I never once attempted to sneak a penis or a penis-like object into the script. I would never put a penis where it was not welcome.â
Of course sometimes itâs not unintentional:
Stanford: âOddly, the complaints USC fans had were violations we didnât even intend: they saw a penis on the field (we didnât form one. Weâve done it before, and that time we just made a formation badly), and one fan saw a father raping his daughter. Ah, USC.â
Now you have to admit, the body of the âEnterpriseâ is all wrong, even as originally planned. When those clumsy freshmen got done with it, it really had turned into a nice big nutsack.
I keep sayinâ â itâs not the Enterprise or even a penis at all, itâs actually a 100% accurate depiction of the heavily damaged USS Constellation from The Doomsday Machine. 
Must be some rather intimately starved people over in Kansas, try as I might, I donât see any penis. Now this, which I drive by with some regularity, certainly does:
Perhaps folks were induced to see a penisâŚ
Any omnipotent beings seen nearby?
