Marching band formation: Star Trek's Enterprise or giant penis?


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The people of Kansas must have really weird looking penises.


Did anyone get a photo from the point in time when the formation supposedly resembled a giant penis? Because if yours looks like the NCC-1701 depicted in the screenshot above you should probably consult a urologist.

Now, the early days of space exploration—that’s when aerospace engineers really knew how to build a giant phallic symbol.


It’s not the best precision marching formation ever, but with the announcer saying it’s the Starship Enterprise and the band playing the Star Trek theme, I think you’d really want to see a penis there to see one. (Sort of like seeing Jesus in a cloud formation: you see what your heart most wants to see, realistic or not.)


I think you’d have to try really hard to see that as a penis. Looking at the plan for the formation, the decision to insert the banner in the main body distorted it somewhat.


This right here is proof that some people actively seek out crap to be offended about.

I’ve got about as dirty a mind as anyone, and all I saw was the Enterprise.


I don’t necessarily see a penis, but…


Sometimes the starship Enterprise is just the starship Enterprise.


It’s not the penises themselves, so much as the nacelles.


Subliminal much?


That band is from my Alma Mater. True story.


I have to squint pretty hard to see the USS Enterprise or a giant penis.


Star Trek’s Enterprise or giant penis?


No wonder so many people don’t believe in evolution in Kansas! Only God could make a penis shaped like that.


I’m not sure why they decided to have the Enterprise fly into their rival mascot’s mouth, instead of just ramming it, but beyond that… it’s the Enterprise. That’s the least penisy-looking penis outline I’ve seen in awhile, and I’m a connoisseur of penis outlines.


All marching (and especially the non-marching “scatter”) bands will get accused of putting penises on the field sooner or later. Some scatter band examples:

Yale: “After erecting a unique version of the Berlin wall during The Game on Saturday—and tearing it down with a missile evoking a phallus—members of the Yale Precision Marching Band have found themselves in administrative trouble.”

Princeton: “…some [at the Citadel] also found the halftime show objectionable because ‘it’s quite possible that this formation they made was quite possibly a penis… My friend told me that the people that kept running out of the top of it was supposed to represent the penis ejaculating,’ he explained.”

[Personal note: one Princeton alumnus I know swears he saw a halftime show in the 1970s where the band did in fact make a flaccid penis that grew erect during the course of the song, which climaxed with a fire extinguisher being sprayed at the tip.]

Columbia: “The athletic department is always paranoid that the band will claim to form some G-rated long object, only to coalesce into a throbbing cock instead. To be clear, this fear is completely unfounded. I never once attempted to sneak a penis or a penis-like object into the script. I would never put a penis where it was not welcome.”

Of course sometimes it’s not unintentional:

Stanford: “Oddly, the complaints USC fans had were violations we didn’t even intend: they saw a penis on the field (we didn’t form one. We’ve done it before, and that time we just made a formation badly), and one fan saw a father raping his daughter. Ah, USC.”


Now you have to admit, the body of the “Enterprise” is all wrong, even as originally planned. When those clumsy freshmen got done with it, it really had turned into a nice big nutsack.


I keep sayin’ – it’s not the Enterprise or even a penis at all, it’s actually a 100% accurate depiction of the heavily damaged USS Constellation from The Doomsday Machine. :stuck_out_tongue:


Must be some rather intimately starved people over in Kansas, try as I might, I don’t see any penis. Now this, which I drive by with some regularity, certainly does:


Perhaps folks were induced to see a penis…
Any omnipotent beings seen nearby?