Marching band formation: Star Trek's Enterprise or giant penis?


#1

[Read the post]


#2

The people of Kansas must have really weird looking penises.


#3

Did anyone get a photo from the point in time when the formation supposedly resembled a giant penis? Because if yours looks like the NCC-1701 depicted in the screenshot above you should probably consult a urologist.

Now, the early days of space exploration—that’s when aerospace engineers really knew how to build a giant phallic symbol.


#4

It’s not the best precision marching formation ever, but with the announcer saying it’s the Starship Enterprise and the band playing the Star Trek theme, I think you’d really want to see a penis there to see one. (Sort of like seeing Jesus in a cloud formation: you see what your heart most wants to see, realistic or not.)


#5

I think you’d have to try really hard to see that as a penis. Looking at the plan for the formation, the decision to insert the banner in the main body distorted it somewhat.


#6

This right here is proof that some people actively seek out crap to be offended about.

I’ve got about as dirty a mind as anyone, and all I saw was the Enterprise.


#7

I don’t necessarily see a penis, but…


#8

Sometimes the starship Enterprise is just the starship Enterprise.


#9

It’s not the penises themselves, so much as the nacelles.


#10

Subliminal much?


#11

That band is from my Alma Mater. True story.


#12

I have to squint pretty hard to see the USS Enterprise or a giant penis.


#13

Star Trek’s Enterprise or giant penis?


#14

No wonder so many people don’t believe in evolution in Kansas! Only God could make a penis shaped like that.


#15

I’m not sure why they decided to have the Enterprise fly into their rival mascot’s mouth, instead of just ramming it, but beyond that… it’s the Enterprise. That’s the least penisy-looking penis outline I’ve seen in awhile, and I’m a connoisseur of penis outlines.


#16

All marching (and especially the non-marching “scatter”) bands will get accused of putting penises on the field sooner or later. Some scatter band examples:

Yale: “After erecting a unique version of the Berlin wall during The Game on Saturday—and tearing it down with a missile evoking a phallus—members of the Yale Precision Marching Band have found themselves in administrative trouble.”

Princeton: “…some [at the Citadel] also found the halftime show objectionable because ‘it’s quite possible that this formation they made was quite possibly a penis… My friend told me that the people that kept running out of the top of it was supposed to represent the penis ejaculating,’ he explained.”

[Personal note: one Princeton alumnus I know swears he saw a halftime show in the 1970s where the band did in fact make a flaccid penis that grew erect during the course of the song, which climaxed with a fire extinguisher being sprayed at the tip.]

Columbia: “The athletic department is always paranoid that the band will claim to form some G-rated long object, only to coalesce into a throbbing cock instead. To be clear, this fear is completely unfounded. I never once attempted to sneak a penis or a penis-like object into the script. I would never put a penis where it was not welcome.”

Of course sometimes it’s not unintentional:

Stanford: “Oddly, the complaints USC fans had were violations we didn’t even intend: they saw a penis on the field (we didn’t form one. We’ve done it before, and that time we just made a formation badly), and one fan saw a father raping his daughter. Ah, USC.”


#17

Now you have to admit, the body of the “Enterprise” is all wrong, even as originally planned. When those clumsy freshmen got done with it, it really had turned into a nice big nutsack.


#18

I keep sayin’ – it’s not the Enterprise or even a penis at all, it’s actually a 100% accurate depiction of the heavily damaged USS Constellation from The Doomsday Machine. :stuck_out_tongue:


#19

Must be some rather intimately starved people over in Kansas, try as I might, I don’t see any penis. Now this, which I drive by with some regularity, certainly does:


#20

Perhaps folks were induced to see a penis…
Any omnipotent beings seen nearby?