Mayor of Jackson, MS: "I believe we can pray potholes away"

[anon8420928]

@AcerPlatanoides

I have a date with my local JW’s in a couple weeks.

I like to have the missionaries over for pool, after having thoroughly dispelled any hope of them re-converting me.

Makes things so much easier.

[Marktech]

@TobinL

I sometimes wish to have a big pentagram to have hanging over the fireplace when the Jehovah’s Witness people knock.

My Presbyterian grandfather in Belfast had two pictures in his hallway: Saint Patrick, and King Billy at the Battle of the Boyne. Apparently he was likeable enough to get away with that sort of thing.

[nimelennar]

@SlyBevel

A lady minister whose door I knocked on told us that her cat was named Noah, “after the Biblical myth”.

And the loveliest of them all was the unicorn

[IronEdithKidd]

Don’t know if it works for all Godbotherers who randomly appear at the doorstep, but I’ve quickly cleared Mormons and JWs off the porch with “we’re Jewish.”

I’m an atheist, but it makes 'em go away much faster when I don’t have time to mess with their heads.

[anon61221983]

[Melizmatic]

@IronEdithKidd

Godbotherers

Now that made me giggle.

[L_Mariachi]

The Pope is radioactive?

[Mangochin]

“I will pray for you” is Christianspeak for “Go fuck yourself”. They were just being catty.

[Mangochin]

I tried telling them I worship Satan and I need Christian blood to sacrifice. But then they started volunteering to martyr themselves.

[wrecksdart]

@IronEdithKidd

Don’t know if it works for all Godbotherers who randomly appear at the doorstep, but I’ve quickly cleared Mormons and JWs off the porch with “we’re Jewish.”

Last time they came to my door (Baptists), it was a three ladies, one of which stayed at the sidewalk while the other two came to the front door. I fixed my eyes on the more rabidly Dog-fearin’ lady and gave her my best creepazoid, “Yeah, hey, that’s great, but…uh…do you want to get dinner sometime?”

Slightly taken aback, she replied that she was happily married.

I told her that I was too, but hey, JC was all about love, right? and if she wanted, maybe she’d like to come into the house right now and have a few drinky-poos? They left immediately and did not return again while I lived there.

[Ignatius]

@AcerPlatanoides

Speaking entirely as a Unitarian, exhausting them is sorta fun. But really, who am I to shake their tree?

That’s more or less my position on the subject. I remember what it was like for me being on the proselytizing end and knowing in my heart it was bad to pester strangers about their faith. I figure some percentage of them know that too deep down in their heart and they’re being peer pressured (or leader pressured).

No point in me making it worse for them.

[IronEdithKidd]

Hilarious…if one feels OK with taking the creepizoid path.