Meet Feminist Hacker Barbie, avenger of girl nerds

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Arch…so Barbie now browses /g/…

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I’m glad we can appropriate Barbie in a more modern way. As My Little Pony has done bringing realistic and multi-faceted female characters, perhaps Mattel can learn from this and do something good with the Barbie product line.

Remember, in 2006’s April Fools, slashdot went with the “light red” theme and changed the tagline to “OMG! Ponies!” in an attempt to lure in female readers. We had the My Little Pony RPG, which has pretty much become a reality
https://web.archive.org/web/20060409192849/http://www.wizards.com/default.asp?x=dnd/dd/20060401a

Why not continue that year’s fiction becoming reality with the Barbie OS?
https://web.archive.org/web/20060403015853/http://divisiontwo.com/articles/barbieOS.htm

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Hackers are not all foul-mouthed jerks.

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At least she is right about PHP.

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Or all of them well-spoken ladies/gentlemen either.

She can be any one type without negating the existence of others.
Or was it the Jab at Java that got to you? :smile:

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Did I miss the memo where we are supposed to hate Ubuntu now? Or is it just that Arch, being a more obscure distro, would demonstrate Barbie’s true geekiness?

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Ubuntu has a bad rep among many a “Serious” and hardened Linux sysadmin.

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Oh, oh, oh! How about the “Frustrated Barbie” panel with the caption “friggin Boing Boing page. The shockwave code is using more cycles than my simulation code.”

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Fuck yeah, they are, you arsemouth!

Note to unsuspecting readers: I’m not a hacker (at least, not of any skill) and this is parody.

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Potty-mouth Barbie is hawt.

Based on her terse exchanges with Skipper, Brian, and Steven, I’m guessing Barbie’s not one for smalltalk.

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Just the good ones! :wink:

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Smalltalk is for Turing-complete AI’s. Feminist Hacker Barbie’s got shit to do.

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If Barbie was worth her goddamn weight in salt, she’d be installing Gentoo!

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And Java.

Although I have to admit: Monads are HARD!

I see what you did^H^H^H coded there.

Barbie’s preferred language is clearly brainfuck.

Frankly, the Subtext had me worried that Brian might try to coerce her into using Brianfuck, hoping to leave her with a Perl necklace of hot Lava Goo. But Feminist Hacker Barbie seems fairly Objective, see, so I don’t think she’ll fall for his Fancy Charm. (Of course, being denied his creepy Euphoria, Brian might then try to Bash her reputation, calling her a BASIC bitch and such, but Feminist Hacker Barbie seems secure enough in her Self to handle the gamergate types.)

I really hope this refactored book can Snowball into a Revolution for the Barbie world. Go, Feminist Hacker Barbie!

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Now try saying that with a lisp.

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I don’t expect much, but I don’t understand how a graphic designer in 2014 doesn’t know what a keyboard looks like.