Men determined to kill Bigfoot

boing
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Ya. Was wondering if he is on lock-down in an undisclosed location.

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I know it’s silly of me to wish for such things but… wouldn’t it be great if there were such creatures and the collective of Bigfeet/Bigfoot’s (sp) caught these wannabe killers and stomped the living bejesus out of them. Put them big ol’ feet right up the side of their head. I’m old, I like to fantasize on happy endings. What can I say?

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Good! It will keep them and their guns someplace safe.

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This is why there should be a mental competency test for firearms ownership. People who believe in Bigfoot, or snipes, or jackalopes, or angels should not be allowed weapons of any sort.

All that shit is only a step away from those fictions telling you to kill people.

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Point of order! If you’re having problems proving that something is real, then the public probably doesn’t need to be protected from it with guns.

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After he kills bigfoot, he intends to also bag Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy. What an idiot.

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Is “dangerous to humans” even a part of Bigfoot lore? We don’t generally let hunters shoot polar bears and there are real, well-documented cases of those things eating people.

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Don’t get me started. There are people who are convinced that DNA proof of Bigfoot is being kept from testing, when actually it’s because the person who claimed (years ago, before DNA testing) they’d found fur samples is blocking the testing because, you know, they’d be found out as con artists.

edited to respond to Brainspore…

Yeah, one of the “proofs” of Bigfoot is the many stories told by adults of the overwhelming dread they felt when witnessing some scary creature out of the corner of their eye when they were children. Sometimes they even claim it was in the house with them. Without having broken a window or door, or knocked anything over, or eaten any food. Just came it, hovered long enough to seem menacing, and then disappeared without a trace. But they felt fear, and remember it like it was yesterday, so that’s PROOF.

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OK, tangentially related, but why not. It’s Luke-Warm Steve Austin vs. Andre the Giant. That’s reason enough.

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The only proper response is a Sasquado.

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I agree, even though snipes are real.

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Well I’ve never seen one, so we should go hunt them to death!

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Fucking Samsquanch! Go get 'em, boys!

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Fun fact. If you overlay a map of Sasquatch sightings on top of a map of bear sightings the hotspots are almost perfectly aligned.

These hunters, if you can call them that, are much more likely to shoot either a bear, one of themselves or a hiker.

I personally believe that Unicorns, Sasquatch and modern-day pleisiosaurs are all about equally likely to exist in the US. If there actually is a large, undocumented ape on the planet, by which I mean something chimp-sized or larger, it’s probably not in North America. It’s probably somewhere in South-East Asia, Or possibly South America. As verdant and pretty the Pacific Northwest’s deep forests are, they aren’t nearly deep enough or remote enough to hide such large animals from the prying eyes of human civilization.

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The difference is that plesiosaurs have been extinct for millions of years. But other rhinos and other apes are still extant, though often endangered. So they’re not equally unlikely.

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Yeah. I suppose that’s right, at least from a prior plausibility point of reasoning.

I’ll admit that the liklihood of an undiscovered ape alive today is greater than the liklihood of an undiscovered marine reptile the like of which we have documentation dating to the last known specimen being tens of millions of years ago (I assume that the plesiosaurs went extinct at the K-T boundary, they might have gone extinct earlier for all I know.)

ETA:
Rhinos? I guess a case might be made for rhinoceroses being the progenitor of the unicorn myth. I was under the impression that the myth’s origins are in seagoing european peoples of northern latitudes (perhaps vikings?) introducing narwhal horns (yes I know they’re actually teeth) to people in more southern areas like England France and Spain.

My lore-lore isn’t that great, and the last time I was way into cryptozoology was during high school, so I’m coming up on a decade out from doing that research. So details are pretty fuzzy.

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The first dozen or so casualties will be other Bigfoot hunters wearing ghillie suits.

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Hellenistic and Roman authors claimed that unicorns were from India.