Mexican jumping beans create bomb scare


#1

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#2

What bomb maker in this world would use other than a digital timing device? Hipster terrorists who want to use wind-up, retro, clockwork timing devices, I suppose.

(I actually think in the annals of terrorist overreaction, this strikes me as pretty mild. It was ticking. It was a package. That’s colorable suspicion.)


#3

I was wondering that myself. Isn’t a ticking bomb circa 1950?


#4

I can see the value of a chemical delay, especially when going for a minimum-metal configuration.


#5

I wouldn’t have said it was a waste of time for the police. As suspicious packages go, this one definitely falls into that category, more so than a random backpack left somewhere. And remember the unabomber, he used all sorts of weird timing mechanisms.
So, the bomb squad got a good practice and a good laugh after, sounds like the best outcome.


#6

So if something uses mechanics, chemicals, or electronics - we should fear for our lives! That sounds quite reasonable.


#7

Yes, 1950s or even earlier. I’m picturing it next to the railroad tracks where the girl is tied shoulders to akles with 500 feet of rope, while the villain twirls his fantastic mustache. In the talkie they could even have the sound of the ticking, and just think what we could do with color movies.

But, back to reality, if I was holding a closed box and it was ticking, I would probably freak the fuck out and be extremely frightened. Being a closed box, it doesn’t seem unreasonable to look inside to find out why it’s ticking. Competent terrorists might use something more modern, but leaves out stupid terrorists, terrorists with no money and no imagination, pranksters, griefers, children, and a whole bunch of things including novelty jumping beans.

At least they looked inside and didn’t just move right for blowing the thing up.


#8

“This terrorist’s bomb is so retro, his clockwork timer doesn’t even tick with an accurate beat. Those must be some hand-caved mechanisms in there!”


#9

No no, just pointing out that a bomb doesn’t have to use a cell phone or digital timer. In general, boxes don’t make weird ticking sounds. So unless you are expecting a shipment of jumping beans, it would, at minimum, be very odd.


#10

“Was it ticking?”
“Actually, Throwers don’t worry about ticking, modern bombs don’t tick.”
“Sorry, Throwers?”
“Baggage handlers. But when luggage vibrates, then the Throwers have to call the police”
“My bag, was vibrating?”
“9 out of 10 times it’s an electric razor. But sometimes… it’s a dildo.”


#11

But a person who orders jumping beans probably is expecting such a package.

The whole problem is based upon cliche and hasn’t anything to do with real bombs. A timed bomb in the mail makes no sense in the first place, because there is no way to know when it has reached its target. Too early, and it blows up some mail in a sack somewhere. Too late, and the recipient has already opened it and seen the bomb. So how can you time it to go off when it’s opened? You can’t! You’d need to rig it so that the act of opening the package detonated it - which doesn’t involve any clocks or ticking at all.

It’s really sad that the gung-ho so-called experts at thwarting the terrorism which exists in every woodpile are so inept and/or craving of attention that they apparently don’t know anything about bombs.


#12

Maybe the ticking sound is designed to lull you into a sense of complacency about how to diffuse the bomb. Ha! Double-cross and kaboom!

Speaking of undiffusable bombs, I’m endlessly fascinated with this saga – a gambler decides to get revenge on the casino who took him for everything with the bomb that the FBI still – 35 years later – considers the most tricky device they’ve ever dealt with.


#13

I think that’s what happened about 20 years ago in the 6th most conservative city in the US. Or was it a fire? I think someone had mailed something, then regretted doing so, and then tried to deal with it.


#14

I know it’s not what you meant, but I’d love to read a story that started with that sentence.


#15

I’d say I came for this and am leaving satisfied, but…


#16

However, it’s company policy to never imply ownership in the case of a dildo. We use the indefinite article… A dildo, not YOUR dildo."


#17

Same thing happened to my last shipment from these guys…


#18

It’s NaNoWriMo, so maybe someone will run with it? I’d love to read that story, too!


#19

Box full of kittens closes interstate


#20

I guess that makes this guy a potential terrorist… (probably was taken out by a predator drone right after the photo)