Plus guns
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MyCoffee … it’s what plants crave!
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He sounds like he’s falling apart at the seams.
Next up - Lindell Steaks!
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I’m guessing his coffee won’t be certified organic or fair trade… yet will claim to be certified as such.
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What’s that line said by Johnny Rose in Schitt’s Creek, when he considers whether or not to try the motel’s complimentary coffee? I’d rather drink pipe water.
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Failure’s Crystals.
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Maybe they had surplus fabric, after walmart and others stopped carrying it, so they made coffee tea bags?
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NAAH. “fair trade” is liberal-speak for being nice to poor, brown people. Not only is that not “on brand” it’s pretty much the polar opposite of racist capitalist market that they’re going for. Might as well have a picture of Che Guerva on the bag.
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Agree, his coffee’s selling points are more likely to be “the unwoke, non PC coffee with the most slave labor, and biggest carbon footprint you can buy”. Grown on stripmined former rainforests.
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You’ve heard of Fair Trade, where workers are supposed to get a fair wage for their labour? This is Unfair Trade, where you can be certain that the workers suffered for your few minutes of pleasure.
Zero-Sum Coffee, it’s the Republican way!
That reminds me, I need to buy some more Zapatista coffee.
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Tell you what; the best cup of coffee I’m ever gonna have is the one I’m drinking while watching the morning news & You Know Who is shown being led off in chains.
And it’s not gonna be that swill you are selling.
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No, it would be MySteaks. He may follow his idol and launch MyCasino. Could bankrupt him before Dominion take him to the cleaners.
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Maybe he’s heard that the smell of coffee beans masks other things in the shipment?
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Politics aside- the fartknocker boasts that his towels are made of 100% American cotton in one ad, but his sheets are made of “the finest Egyptian cotton” in another. I wouldn’t trust any of the hypocrite’s products.
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I’ll put money on it specifically claiming not to have those attributes. Similar to how my GQP “father”-in-law will go out of his way to avoid halal meat for reasons. I would say “let them have the substandard product,” if the mainstream coffee supply chain didn’t cause so much harm.
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What about his obituary then?
Socialist beans
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“Mr. Lindell, he dead.”
My parents - one a dyed-in-the-wool Trumpist and de facto QAnon cultist, the other a somewhat ambivalent Trumpist - both reacted with disgust and reached for the mute button when Lindell come on the TV during my recent visit. “I can’t STAND that man” they said.
I’ll take what I can get.
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