I agree, these were intended to work as functional social protocol. But obviously, the less people related to the traditions these came from, the less useful they have tended to be. Once people loosen it up and make it more casual, it becomes freer, but not so much a protocol anymore.
All such systems of courtship I have encountered tend to carry a lot of baggage which is offensive to me. Such as sexism, and gender roles. As well as religious/cultural edicts such as forced gifts, monogamy, etc. I hate the notion of dating being merely another form of consumerism. My personal outlook on it is rather tribal - that people get together spontaneously and not worry about it very much. Sex can be just as much a way to meet people as it can be the converse. But when those around me do not share this outlook, it isn’t much to go on. It worked great for me when I lived in a city amongst bohemians, but now that I am a divorcee in some lame suburbs it is useless.
