Model forwards unsolicited dick pix, chat transcripts to girlfriends of her harassers

[enso]

@redesigned

Why wouldn’t an option to block images from texters not in your contacts, unless you choose to click the blocked image notification to view, work? Are there any downsides to that approach? Seems like a no brainer to me, and I wouldn’t be surprised if we don’t see it as a standard feature in future apps.

I can’t think of any reason why that wouldn’t work.

[GulliverFoyle]

@anon15383236

I’d rather see men “man up” in such cases by pondering and then owning up to their own actions. Sure, they don’t send dick pics, but ASSERTING that they would never do that and that they just can’t understand why others would, seems to be, as I said, a way of actually saying something about themselves. If so, why do they want to assert soemthing about themselves at such moments? And really, how does that even benefit anyone but themselves?

Maybe it doesn’t. But haven’t you ever just seen other people doing dumbfoundingly crass and stupid things and thought: WTF are they thinking? On what Earth do they think esteem of them won’t plummet with the recipient and world? And, most of all, how do their perceptions of their own actions so utterly disconnect from how others see them? In short, how can they be that fucking clueless?

[anon75430791]

@anon15383236

I’d rather see men “man up” in such cases by pondering and then owning up to their own actions. Sure, they don’t send dick pics, but ASSERTING that they would never do that and that they just can’t understand why others would, seems to be, as I said, a way of actually saying something about themselves.

I double checked my understanding of why dudes randomly send dick pics by googling it and reading about 6 articles on it. I think the opinions cover basically all the various reasons I can imagine, but some articles focus solely on the idea of harassment which I don’t think is entirely accurate.

Harassment is one of the big ones. But, I don’t think it’s the big one. I can’t prove this, and as far as I know there is no scientific rigor around this subject, so really I’m talking out of my ass… But…

My take as a dude on a lot of dick pics is the idea that guys are super turned on by female nude pics, therefore some subset of women might be the same. (That subset exists I am sure, but I am also sure it is far smaller than said dick pic-ers think) It’s a lazy shortcut for sex, based on a misunderstanding. That’s what I think the big one is.

*Also a lot/most guys are pretty egotistical about their dicks, so they figure women will be impressed and want to have sex with them. They probably A. overvalue the awesomeness of their dick, and B. underestimate the number of dick pics women get online, therefore requiring truly a very special dick to appeal to that very small subset of women who will hook up based solely on a good dick pic.

EDIT: I can’t post this comment with italics like I want. What’s the escape character here?

[LDoBe]

Escape character is the backslash.

You can also style text by encapsulation with stars, or even just the safe html tags.

[anon75430791]

Thanks!

[GulliverFoyle]

Exposure!
by Richard P. Johnson

What women don’t understand
Is that the penis is an institution
Thousands of years old
When our forefathers
Sculpted phalluses and penile daguerreotypes
It wasn’t harassment
It was smut art
Stand up erect against the monolith of feminism
Sext with authority

[Just in case it isn’t clear, I’m being sarcastic.]

[codinghorror]

@Drew_G

I’m only a bisexual in love with a gay man, not gay myself, but…unsolicited dick pics are not sexy to me. Neither is unsolicited any kind of sexual pic, really.

No idea, I’m not gay @AcerPlatanoides , but dudes are very visual, so making an “all dudes” scenario, well… 83 Percent of Gay Men Have Sent a Dick Pic on Dating Apps, Says Survey

[GulliverFoyle]

Three things to consider.

While entertaining and informative, surveys and stats of dating app users may suffer from selection bias. Nothing wrong with dating via app, but lots of people don’t.

Also, while studies have shown men to be, on average, more visually stimulated than women, that still interleaves with other factors. A revealing photo of your girlfriend or wife or, if you’re male bi or gay, boyfriend or husband, might be more stimulating than of a total stranger.

Lastly, just because it’s stimulating doesn’t mean it’s welcome. The very fact that it might be stimulating may make it too intimate for initial encounters with total strangers. Likewise, someone upthread mentioned the likelihood that some women find closeups of dicks intrinsically appealing (though unless the person is one such woman, I cannot see how they can assume this). Even if they do, it doesn’t automatically follow that they want to see the dicks of total strangers.

I, for one, have no desire to see anyone’s genitalia save in context and/or in the flesh. But I accept that that may place me in the minority of straight males, at least if the humorous article @jsroberts linked is representative (again, could be dating app user specific).

[LDoBe]

@GulliverFoyle

Likewise, someone upthread mentioned the likelihood that some women find closeups of dicks intrinsically appealing (though unless the person is one such woman, I cannot see how they can assume this). Even if they do, it doesn’t automatically follow that they want to see the dicks of total strangers.

Absolutely. The female viagra trials have shown that arousal and desire are often disconnected in women. Which means sending a photo that “gets a woman hot” is often completely different from sending a photo that makes a woman “want to have sex with you”.

In males, for the most part, arousal and desire to have sex are the same thing. In women, they’re usually completely disconnected, which means sending dick pics is relying on a small minority of women enjoying one’s most likely average dick. These men who send dick pics have no interest in paying attention to women. They’re only interested in driving trollies through thousand or more of women to find the few who react to the same stimulus guys like. I’m guessing because they’re either lazy, stupid and ignorant, or misogynists.

[jsroberts]

I can’t really imagine being offended by an unsolicited vag pic, although my first thought would be that the woman had low self esteem and I probably wouldn’t want to go any further (that’s a sweeping statement and there are many other explanations, e.g. they think I’d like it, that kind of thing is what they like, they think this is normal based on interactions with other men on that site etc. I’m fine with other people having quirks, but that would definitely make me reconsider our potential compatibility). Sex is great, but I wouldn’t be attracted to someone who led with that as the main thing to look forward to in a relationship. Even if I were in a relationship with someone and it wasn’t unexpected though, getting a photo of their genitals would be weird.

[GulliverFoyle]

@LDoBe

I’m guessing because they’re either lazy, stupid and ignorant, or misogynists.

I’m going to guess clueless.

[LDoBe]

I’m going with Lazy: because they never bothered to find out. Ignorant because they never found out. And stupid because most of these tools would continue to send dick pics even if they did understand that women generally don’t like them.

[codinghorror]

One important fact to bear in mind: the kind of people you would want to see naked are almost never the same people who are actually willing to share their nakedness with you, other randos, and/or the world.

Source: my poor god damn eyes, that time I accidentally wandered on to a nude beach in SF

[GulliverFoyle]

Maybe. This is one area where I’m going to just deploy the much-maligned term basic bro. At the risk of making my own sweeping statements, there’s a lot young guys (or emotionally immature older guys), who see women as some kind of alien species and go seeking advice on how to to interact with them from unfortunate sources like MRA forums and other guys who are giving out their bad advice priced to move. The thing about all that free advice is that, echoing @codinghorror, the sorts of people from whom a young man should seek relationship advice are rarely the one’s telling anyone who will listen. In a way, it’s partially the fault of the rest of us for not sufficiently countering the MRA bullshit with signals about respecting and listening to women.

[jsroberts]

I cannot believe that people are that ignorant. As a basic guideline, “men who expose themselves to women without warning don’t tend to be welcome” seems like the kind of thing you’d sort of know. If not, somewhere along the line women are going to tell them. I’d have thought a lot of the unsolicited dick pics come from people who get off on the shock that their targets feel. Getting a negative reaction gives them a feeling of power.

[LDoBe]

Maybe I’m giving them the benefit of the doubt. But it seems to me like spam. Just trying to find the needle in the haystack, with no regard for other people. That seems to me like it’d make more sense, but of course I could be wrong.

[GulliverFoyle]

@jsroberts

I’d have thought a lot of the unsolicited dick pics come from people who get off on the shock that their targets feel. Getting a negative reaction gives them a feeling of power.

For some, I’m sure that’s the case. For others, they probably just think they have good “game” and of course if they’ve drunk the MRA coolaid, they’ve been trained not to listen to women or believe anything women say (which is actually probably a survival strategy for the MRA memes since they’d quickly get dismanteled if their carriers listened to women).

[LDoBe]

If I were that desperate to feel powerful, I’d get a pet to train.

[jsroberts]

I’d do that to feel useful and connected, I don’t trust people who want power over a pet. People like this make me sad, because they are never going to find happiness at this rate, even for themselves. Meanwhile I worry for any woman they do meet. There are many non-sexual ways to feel connected and wanted, and I wonder how many think that this is all they’ve got. I don’t know, I find it hard to relate even after reading people’s explanations.

[GulliverFoyle]

@jsroberts

I’d do that to feel useful and connected, I don’t trust people who want power over a pet.

Well, in our house the species chain of command goes cats, humans, dogs. But that said, while using power to torment is never a good thing, dog owners are well advised to establish dominance for the simple reason that if a dog is uncertain about who is pack leader, it causes them stress.